a fine time talking with Spencer.” I’d watched Melody shadow Spencer yesterday, helping him replenish the table and make sure the coffeepot was kept full; I saw them chatting, their heads leaning in toward each other. I’d recognized the smile she gave him, the smile that said, “Welcome, I’m available. Please, ask me more.”
“Who, me?” She looked at me over the top of her coffee mug and fluttered her eyelashes. I nudged her again, a little harder this time, and she laughed. “Okay, okay. I did have a good time chatting with him. I can’t believe you never introduced us before! He’s totally my type.”
I shrugged. “I guess I never made the connection. He’s so quiet and you’re so . . .”
“What?” It was her turn to nudge me. “I’m so what?”
I grinned. “Energetic?”
“Ha! That’s just a nice way to say ‘spastic.’ ” She exhaled and smiled at me. “We’re going out tonight. After he gets done at the restaurant.”
“That’s great, Mel. I’m happy for you.” I was happy for my friend, but I couldn’t help but release a tiny, dejected sigh, too.
“Okay. Then why do you sound like you want to slit your wrists?” She cringed. “Oh, wow. Sorry. Bad choice of words.”
I gave her a half smile. “No worries. I just feel like I’ve been holding my breath all week, you know?” She nodded. “I’m ready to get into some kind of routine. All this sitting around the house is making me crazy.” I missed my office; I missed my clients. I missed feeling like each moment had a purpose, that the things I did made a difference. Here, with Victor and the kids, I couldn’t gauge how much I mattered.
“Maybe you need to get back to work?” she suggested.
“Maybe. I’ve been taking care of e-mails and a few phone calls, but that’s about it.” As I spoke, Victor stumbled into the room. He wore plaid pajama bottoms and a white T-shirt and his dark hair was twisted in multiple cowlicks around his head, which usually meant he’d tossed and turned all night.
“Hey, handsome,” Melody said. “I hate to drink and run, but I have to get to the spa and prep for the day.” She stood up and walked over to Victor, landing a kiss on his cheek. “If you talk to Spencer, tell him how great I am, okay?”
“You got it.” Victor smiled at her, then walked over and sat down next to me. I fingered the empty spot on my left ring finger, feeling a twinge of sadness with the touch. Victor noticed the movement and lifted my hand up to kiss the same spot.
“All right, lovebirds,” Melody said. “Catch you later.” She waved as she headed out the door.
“Sorry,” Victor said after she was gone. He still held my hand. “I know this is rough on us.”
“I just miss you,” I said, squeezing his long fingers. “That’s all.”
He sighed. “I miss you, too. We’ll try them in their beds tonight, okay? A regular routine will be good for them, but the counselor said we just have to let them go through whatever they need to, you know. Try to accommodate where we can.”
“Of course.” I nodded, and he kissed me again, his full lips lingering on mine for a moment longer this time, the tip of his tongue brushing against mine. I groaned and pushed him. “Go away. You’re making it worse.”
He groaned, too. “Aww. You drive me crazy, woman.”
“Crazier, you mean?” I teased him.
“Ha ha,” he said. “So funny I forgot to laugh.” We both giggled at our stupid inside joke. One time I’d told him I felt silly in a dress I’d picked out to wear to dinner, and he’d said, “Sillier, you mean,” with a wink. From then on, any opportunity we had to make a similar goofy jab, we took it. It felt so good to laugh with him now—to feel that spark of love and connection during what had been such a dark time.
I didn’t want to ruin it, but I suddenly thought about the yearbook I’d found in Kelli’s bedroom. We’d been so focused on the kids, I hadn’t wanted to bring it up earlier in the week. “Hey, honey?” I began, then told him about the signature-free pages, how I didn’t see any others from the rest of her high school years.
Victor listened, his eyes intent on mine. “Okay. So what are you asking, exactly?”
“Well, don’t you think it’s kind of weird that her photo albums and