The Healer's Hellion - Miranda Bridges Page 0,22

say, throwing up my hands, “forget it.”

I race for the door, my steps echoing loudly in the room. Then I reach up to press the button to open the door when there’s a whisper of movement. From one breath to the next, I’m flattened against the wall by Braxton’s body as he glares down at me.

“You’re my mate,” he growls.

My mouth falls open as I stare up at him. “What?”

“I am certain that you are my mate, the one that I would kill for, die for, do anything to please. You are the one female that will own me heart and soul for the rest of my days, and there’s nothing I won’t do to bring about your every desire, your every wish.”

I suck in a breath at his confession, hardly able to believe what he just said. The first time I heard him speak about the mating bond, I thought it a nice theory. Now it sounds like anything but.

“Then why are you pushing me away?” I ask, genuinely perplexed.

He exhales and closes his eyes briefly. “Because even though my instincts tell me this, the bond will not be solidified until we have sex. It is already hard enough to walk away now, but after that, it will be impossible. I know you want to return to Earth, and I have no desire to stop you if it will make you happy.”

I sag against the wall, and the only reason I stay upright is because he’s pinning me with his body. I’m able to feel every divot and cut of muscle from his chest and legs as they press into mine. His cock throbs against the apex of my thighs, making my body alive with need once more.

“I had no idea,” I say quietly.

“My control has always been something I prided myself in,” he says, his lips twisting. “What a fool I was to think I’d be stronger than the yearnings of my body, that I’d be able to maintain my discipline when it came to desiring you.” He shakes his head at himself, and his hair brushes my cheek. “And yet I test my self-control every second I’m around you. It takes so much restraint to not fuck you hard and fast, to make you mine in every way.” He reaches down to grip his cock, and my sex throbs as I watch. “I want to be inside your cunt, to feel the warmth and softness of it as I push deep and my cock touches the core of you, bringing you wave after wave of ecstasy.”

“Fuck,” I whisper.

He nods. “Yes, we would do that and more. Much more. But not while your intentions are to leave.” With an obvious reluctance, he peels himself from my body and slams his hand against the button to open the door. “I don’t know if I’d survive it.”

He leaves me then, and I follow him with my gaze until he’s out of sight. I don’t move for the longest while, willing my heart to slow and my breaths to even out. His words replay over and over in my mind, the weight of them settling over me like a lead blanket. If I pursue him sexually, I’m going to end up solidifying the mating bond and then ultimately hurt him when I leave for Earth with Camille.

I can’t do that to him, no matter how much I want him. It’s not fair, and it’s not right. I tell myself that this is just physical attraction and it will fade in time. And that I should be grateful to Braxton for bringing that part of me back to life. It makes me feel normal and less damaged, although there’s a part of me that will always be.

I hope Braxton didn’t discover the fact that I’m infertile when he scanned me or else my shame will be exponential.

After pushing away from the wall, I make my way back to his quarters on wobbly legs. Braxton hasn’t slept in his room since I took over, so I guess it’s my space now, but that doesn’t make me happy. It’s funny that I’m just as sad about not having him hold me as I am about not being able to have sex with him. I guess I’m not just attracted to his body but him as a male too.

And fuck if his determination to leave me alone doesn’t make me burn all the hotter.

After asking a crew member for directions, I end up meandering to