I nibble on his earlobe. "I am focused. Very, very focused."
About twenty minutes and several orgasms later, I step out of the van. The sun is barely up. Trees surround us, and there is only a small area not covered by the forest. We go to the bathroom, sanitize our hands, then eat a quick breakfast of fruit and protein bars I packed before we left Tinkers.
When we finish, Dirk's face turns serious again. He pulls his gun out and removes all the ammo. In the next thirty minutes, he discusses gun safety and shows me all the features. He has me load then empty the chamber. Once the bullets are back out, he shows me how to shoot it, explains that there will be a kickback once the loaded weapon is fired, and has me practice shooting.
"When we get to a place where I don't need to worry about the gunfire causing any attention, I'll have you shoot it for real."
"Okay."
He sets the gun down and moves further away from the van. "Zoe step in front of me."
When I get stationed how he wants me, he picks up my hand and positions my fingers like he did the night before. He shows me the difference between civilian and military eye jabs and explains when to use which ones. Then we go through heel palm strikes and elbow strikes.
"Good. You've got it down." He spins me to face him again. "What I'm going to show you next you're never allowed to use on me."
"I wouldn't."
"No matter how mad you get."
"Of course not. What is it?"
"The proper way to administer a groin kick."
I bite back a laugh. "You think I'd do something like that?"
He holds his hands in the air. "You're a pretty feisty woman. And you did slap me twice within the first five minutes we met. I need to protect myself."
"Very funny."
He puts his hand on his ear. "I still haven't heard a promise."
"You're serious?"
He folds his arms and grins. "Until you promise, I can't show you."
"You're impossible."
"Hey, I've gotta protect my guys."
I snort.
"I promise are the two words—"
"Fine. I promise. Now show me the correct way."
He steps forward and kisses me. "That was fun."
"Really?"
He grins. "Yep."
"Are you going to show me?"
He backs up, and we spend the next ten minutes working on proper body form and movements.
Right before we finish, he puts his arms around me and tilts my head up. "What don't you ever do, Zoe?"
"Hesitate."
He pecks me, and darkness fills his eyes. "Yes. And if something happens...if you have to kill someone, what can't you do until you're away from the scene and alone or with me?"
"Breakdown."
"Why?"
"I need to keep a clear head and get out of there."
"And if you use a weapon?"
"Take it with me and dispose of it somewhere no one will find it then destroy it as soon as possible."
"Your clothes?"
"Burn them."
"And what about your body?"
"Scrub it down, every inch."
He stares at me.
"What?"
"I hope this is never your reality."
I turn away and nod. "I know. If it is, it means they've found me."
Unlike his typical denial that they won't find me and he'll protect me, he pulls me into his arms and murmurs in my ear, "If they ever lay eyes on you again, much less touch you, I'll come find you."
A bad feeling rolls through me so quickly, I get nauseated. I push his chest. "Why aren't you telling me they won't find me? That you'll keep me safe, how you always do?"
He sternly says, "I will protect you."
"But, you don't deny that they will capture me again?"
"I didn't say that."
"But, you didn't give me your normal answer." I've told him over and over that the Global Leaders would eventually find me, but he's always denied it. His current revelation scares me, and I realize how much I've found comfort in his resilient objection to my insistent statement.
"Zoe, I'm trying to not let my ego lead me. It's why we just spent the last hour going over all these ways you can defend yourself. I don't want to put you in a worse situation because I let my arrogance rule my actions when I could have prepared you to fight."
My gut drops. I already know my fate, but Dirk's been like a blanket I've wrapped around myself to conceal the truth of what's to come. I swallow the lump in my throat. "I'm going