I curl up in his arms, and when my breathing is almost normal, I glance up.
"I'm sorry, I'm not normal. I want to be, but I'm not."
He wipes my face with his thumbs. "What's normal to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"How do you define normal?"
"I...I'm not sure but someone without all this baggage."
"We all have problems, Zoe. Yours suck because other people hurt you. They weren't the problems you chose."
"I did. I switched managers."
He puts his thumbs on my lips. "No. You need to stop blaming yourself for that. You did what anyone with your talent would do. Nothing that happened to you is your fault."
"It—"
He cuts me off with a kiss so potent I wonder if everything bad could disappear. If he could make it all evaporate into thin air and save me somehow.
I move further on him, but he pulls back. "We have to leave in the dark, so no one catches us in here. Tomorrow will be a long day. Get some sleep, my Little Diva."
I roll off him, but he slides his arms under me in the spooning position. All I can feel is his erection pressing against my ass.
You have so much baggage that the only man you've ever wanted won't even touch you when he's hard.
Another brilliant move, dumping all your crap on him.
"Close your eyes," he instructs and kisses my cheek.
I sink into his warmth and safety, wanting to make him mine, but knowing it's not realistic. The truth of the Global Leaders is one that I know—nothing and no one is powerful enough to stop them. If they want you, they will find you. All I'm doing right now is buying time.
15
Dirk
If I could sacrifice something to take away one morsel of her pain, I would. Instead, all I feel is useless. I don't know how to help her or stop the bleeding.
Zoe finally fell asleep. I want to keep her in my arms forever then forget about the rest of the world and the current situation we're in. But that isn't reality.
And I can't even control myself around her. One kiss, and I'm hard as a rock as if I'm a teenager in high school again instead of a forty-two-year-old man.
I promised myself I wouldn't put her in any sexual position, and then I kissed her on the beach. And after she bared her soul to me, I kissed her again, and my body just reacted to hers.
For hours, I curse myself. Zoe Diego has always been the hottest woman on Earth. Anytime I've seen her on-screen or in concert, she's created chaos in my body. But now she's real, not just a superstar I admire from afar. She's a thousand times more intoxicating in person. But her pain is raw, and I'm doing a horrible job giving her any comfort.
And you insulted her and tried to hide all the alcohol bottles. She thinks you don't trust her. I curse myself further.
Our conversation replays all night in my mind, and I make mental notes of what I can teach her so she feels like she can defend herself. I wish she wouldn't worry about going back to the Global Leaders. I will die before I let anyone take her back.
The only way she's going to feel better is if you teach her.
It wouldn't be bad for her to know some things anyways. She gets mobbed by fans all the time.
She can't be killing them.
As I watch her sleep, I'm torn. I imagine my Little Diva having to protect herself against any man, and my gut churns so fast I have to swallow down bile. The vision of her with blood on her hands, then having to deal with the consequences of killing someone doesn't calm it.
My entire adult life, I've killed evil men. It's part of my baggage. The first one was the hardest to swallow. After so many, it got easier. Now, it's like second nature. Tell me who the bastard is, and I'm ready. However, that doesn't mean I'm immune to it, or my actions don't sometimes haunt me.
Zoe's life may be public, but the real Zoe, the one I've gotten to see these last few days, I'm not sure if she can handle it. She's already dealing with enough demons, and I don't want to give her another one. But I also want her to feel empowered. Should anyone ever dare lay a hand on her again, I want her to know how to defend herself.