I couldn't even imagine how badly that would have gone.
Yeah, mom, I lost my job because I got fixated on this hot guy who I've only known for about a month who’s been perfect to me who happened to be a potential client at the record label. I definitely used my best judgment, I swear. You gotta believe me!
After I got her approval—I was convinced I could pull this off; that didn't make it something I was looking forward to, however—I would write my check and take the checks to the landlord and ask him not to cash it for a couple of days. Shouldn't be a problem at all, and it would give me some breathing room.
I paced around the apartment for most of the morning, making myself some eggs and more shitty coffee instead of calling. By the time I actually picked up the phone to even attempt the deed, it was mid-afternoon.
Very surprisingly, I managed to choose her from the contacts on my second try. I started laughing when I realized she had a call tone, something I would have assumed she would have labeled a waste of money. It was a soothing snippet of classical music, one that was far funnier—and far less soothing—than I should have found it. When I heard her voice, my amusement ended abruptly.
"Effie? Hi."
"Hi, mom," I said quietly. "What's up?"
"Your father and I are on a shopping trip. We're going to pick out some new furniture and then get groceries. That cats did a number on that old couch."
"That's cool," I said, feigning interest the very best I could.
"You haven't called in so long. We've missed you!"
I knew that was coming. "But you always keep me posted with your texts. And it's so busy here."
"I suppose I do, and I suppose you're right. What's new with you? Are you on your lunch break or something?
Well, that was one thing I hadn't considered very well. I guess I was going to straight up lie.
"Yeah, just having a quick bite to eat. Listen," I said, pausing to try and keep my composure. "I, uh..."
Through some maternal magic, she sensed my unrest. "Is something the matter, Effie? Did something happen? Do you need money?"
She had pressed that button and I was helpless. And she mentioned money before I did! I started to sob again, but I wasn't about to be totally honest. "I don't have enough money for rent and I won't get paid for another week."
"Honey, I told you—"
"I'm so sorry," I whined, sniffling between each word, interrupting her before she rubbed more salt in the wound.
"I think it's clear you know you messed up," she said, apparently trying to attach a lesson to her approval. "And I'm not going to turn away my only child."
"What?" I asked, confused by how easily she was giving in.
"Effie, you know we haven't been that open with each other. I'm just glad you came to me to ask for help. It shows that you trust me. You can always tell me anything."
God, I couldn't believe how frail I had become. I felt even worse now about lying, realizing that she was using my moment of weakness to try to rekindle our relationship. It was okay. "Thanks, Mom," I said sheepishly. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"You know how much we love you. We're so proud that our daughter has a job in New York City! Everyone is so excited when we tell them."
I knew she was just trying to be nice, but I needed to end this because I was about to become even more of a wreck than I already was after witnessing her pride. "Mom, I have to go back to work now. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Call us anytime. When we get home, I'll transfer the money to your account."
"Thank you so much," I said, meaning it more than I ever had in my life. "I love you guys."
"We love you, too."
The call ended and my crying began again. A different sort of tears this time.
***
My hands shook as I carried the checks to the landlord's "office." It was room on the ground floor with an open door and a desk inside. Although I was fairly sanguine about my situation in that moment, I still retained my doubts.
I didn't want to be that person, the one that always needed just a couple extra days.