you think I’d want that?”
“You don’t seem overly joyed right now. In fact, you don’t seem yourself at all.”
His fingers tighten around the steering wheel. “I’m sorry.”
“Is it your dad? Because I spoke to Amelia and she said he’s doing okay, that there hasn’t been a change in his health.”
“I know. That isn’t it. He seems to really like it there.”
“So why are you being quiet? I’m not gonna lie, it’s making me feel uncomfortable.”
He blows out a breath. “That wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry.” He gives me another quick glance before continuing. “When you left the room, he pulled me up on how we were together. He guessed right away.”
“He doesn’t approve,” I surmise.
“The opposite in fact,” he explains, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “He thinks you’ll be good for me.”
I grin, relaxing somewhat. “Because I rock, right?”
He lets out a chuckle. “Yeah, that. Apparently, I’m uptight.”
“Right about now I’d normally agree with you. You can be uptight. But, Clayton, you’ve been under a lot of pressure.”
“I was young when my mum died, still at school. When she died, all I wanted to do was make her proud. I still do. So I made sure I passed all my exams, helped Dad as much as I could, since he was struggling after we lost her, and helped my sister with her school work. I dedicated my life to achieving my goals. I’ve never really had time to pause, time to unwind. Even when I took that year to travel, I was never relaxed. I didn’t do what other lads were doing at my age. The only time I felt that kind of freedom was when I was racing. Being out on the track, it was only the road in front of me, everything else washed away.”
“I can understand that. What I don’t understand is your distance. Do you feel differently about me now that I’m potentially available to you? I know most men stop finding someone attractive when there’s no longer secrecy or the chase.”
He lets out a chuckle. “Only an idiot would find you unattractive.”
I grit my teeth at him avoiding my question once again. It doesn’t feel like he’s being straight with me.
“Clayton,” I bite out.
“Hayden,” he breathes out, mocking me.
“Pull the car over,” I snap, sitting straighter in my chair. I want answers, and if he won’t give them to me, I’m walking. I won’t spend the next two days with someone who doesn’t seem to want me around.
We’re out in the middle of nowhere, twenty minutes from Butterfly Village. I’m not actually sure what the town is called, I just know the name it’s famously known for. It has one of the best butterfly gardens in England.
“I’m not pulling over.”
“Pull the damn car over, right now, and tell me what the fuck is going on with you and why you’re acting so bloody weird.”
“Okay, okay,” he yells, checking his mirror before pulling into the layby and driving onto a small dirt road until we’re just out of sight.
“Now explain,” I order, folding my arms across my chest.
He drops his head back on the headrest. “You’re going to think it’s ridiculous.”
“Try me,” I tell him, unclipping my belt so I can sit and face him.
“After getting to know your family, I’m really going to sound like a pussy.”
I smack his arm. “I fucking loathe that saying. Pussies are a lot stronger. Not only does a baby the size of a melon come out of it, but it tends to take a good ‘beating’. Dicks, on the other hand, only need the slightest tap and you act like you just took a round of bullets.”
He forces out a laugh. “You got me there.” He watches me for a moment, before continuing. “I like you, Hayden, more than just the great sex.”
“Well, duh, I keep telling you I’m awesome. But I’m sensing another but.”
“But Dad’s words keep playing in my head. What if things progress between us, and down the line, things change? I change. His words held merit today, Hayden. When I’m with you, I do feel different; I do feel free and relaxed. You make my world pause. You make me see a whole new life. Your entire being is filled with life. You live it to the fullest and have no regrets.
“How am I supposed to know it’s not a faze, that what draws me to you now won’t disappear?”
“That’s a lot of ‘what ifs’,” I tell him gently, ignoring the