awash in old emotions and unable to separate them from newer ones.
For a moment they just stood that way, the waves sweeping nearly to their feet, gulls flying above them. She knew he wanted to kiss her. She also knew he was waiting for a sign. When she could look at him no longer, she concentrated on a line of pelicans flying low along the water.
“Did you know I was out on the beach?” he asked. “You know me so well, you probably realized I would be.”
“No, I was early. Walking was better than waiting.”
He let her hands fall to her sides, but his gaze still roamed her face. “I had forgotten how beautiful you really are. I dream about you almost every night. But dreams don’t do you justice.”
She tried to imagine Rishi saying such a thing, and she couldn’t. Even when she and Darshan were betrothed, he had not been so free with compliments. She wondered what had changed him. A sincere realization of what she meant to him, seasoned by months apart? Or something else?
With that last thought, the desire began to ebb. Doubt took its place. Doubt and the reality of this moment. This was not an innocent romantic reunion, as she had so desperately longed for. This was a meeting that could destroy lives. Despite the emotion of the moment, she thought of Herb, who had left his wife and child for another, more desirable woman.
“Let’s walk,” she said.
“If you’re too tired, it’s cooler in my room.”
“We’ll walk.” She started around him, and he joined her.
“You said you’re working?” he asked. “What are you doing?”
She told him about her job at the recreation center. “And why are you in Florida?”
“My excuse was a paper I’m writing on environmentally sound building practices, based on the work of an architect in Fort Lauderdale.”
“I’m surprised Padmini and your parents allowed you to come.”
“Padmini knows I still love you. She was distraught.”
“She has no reason. She fought for you and won. She should be delighted. Even my parents were taken in by her ploy.”
He didn’t protest, and he didn’t say he was reconsidering his marriage. Instead he changed the subject.
“Do you like living in the United States? Have you found other Indian women to be friends with?”
“No, but I have found friends. And there are many things I do like.”
“And your husband?”
“What about Rishi?”
“Is he kind to you?”
“Without question.”
“I’m glad.”
Anger flashed through her. “Yes, I can see you might be. Were he abusing me, you might feel the occasional stab of guilt.”
He stopped. “You say Padmini fought for me. Janya, I fought for you. I told everyone you would never have been foolish enough to join that Web site and post those photos. I stood up for you many times.”
“But not when it really mattered. Not when your parents asked you not to marry me.”
“Forgiving you, when all their friends knew and were talking to them about it, that was too much. They are traditional, and they are my parents. It’s my duty to take their counsel and care for them as they grow older.”
“Then why are you here? Are they not still your parents? And certainly their friends will talk even more if you cancel your wedding to Padmini.”
He was silent. She turned to look at him and saw the truth in the way he was looking out at the horizon.
“But you have no intention of canceling your wedding, do you?” She was surprised this didn’t upset her any more than talking about the past.
“I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“But I think you do. You didn’t come here with the idea of finding me and trying to repair what was broken.”
“Would you leave your husband if I asked?”
“Don’t turn this on me, Darshan. You’re the one who flew halfway around the world to find me.”
“I can’t forget you. That’s why I came. Despite everything. Despite an impending marriage that will bring security to my family.”
She thought about his words carefully before she spoke. “I have had many hours to think about all the things that happened. Padmini tried to destroy me, and yet, what she did was merely silly, even if it was hateful. I wasn’t found in the arms of another man. I wasn’t caught selling my body in Kamathipura. Someone put my photos, some real, some not, on a Web site. Only the most traditional of families would find this a matter for ending a betrothal. And your family is not so traditional.”
“Because of his position,