argued over who’d got the better ship or the better captain, and some laughed and hugged each other, finding the favor of Mother War had made them oarmates.
Brand waited, hand out and heart thumping. Drunk with excitement at the king’s words, and the thought of the raid coming, and of being a boy no more, being poor no more, being alone no more. Drunk on the thought of doing good, and standing in the light, and having a family of warriors always about him.
Brand waited as his fellows were given their places—lads he liked and lads he didn’t, good fighters and not. He waited as the markers grew fewer in the bag, and let himself wonder if he was left till last because he’d won an oar on the king’s own ship, no place more coveted. The more often Hunnan passed him over, the more he allowed himself to hope. He’d earned it, hadn’t he? Worked for it, deserved it? Done what a warrior of Gettland was supposed to?
Rauk was the last of them, forcing a smile onto his crestfallen face when Hunnan brought wood from the bag for him, not silver. Then it was just Brand left. His the only hand still out, the fingers trembling. The lads fell silent.
And Hunnan smiled. Brand had never seen him smile before, and he felt himself smile too.
“This for you,” said the master-at-arms as he slowly, slowly drew out his battle-scarred hand. Drew out his hand to show …
Nothing.
No glint of the king’s silver. No wood neither. Only the empty bag, turned inside out to show the ragged stitching.
“Did you think I wouldn’t know?” said Hunnan.
Brand let his hand drop. Every eye was upon him now and he felt his cheeks burning like he’d been slapped.
“Know what?” he muttered, though he knew well enough.
“That you spoke to that cripple about what happened in my training square.”
A silence, while Brand felt as if his guts dropped into his arse. “Thorn’s no murderer,” he managed to say.
“Edwal’s dead and she killed him.”
“You set her a test she couldn’t pass.”
“I set the tests,” said Hunnan. “Passing them is up to you. And you failed this one.”
“I did the right thing.”
Hunnan’s brows went up. Not angry. Surprised. “Tell yourself that if it helps. But I’ve my own right thing to look to. The right thing for the men I teach to fight. In the training square we pit you against each other, but on the battlefield you have to stand together, and Thorn Bathu fights everyone. Men would have died so she could play with swords. They’re better off without her. And they’re better off without you.”
“Mother War picks who fights,” said Brand.
Hunnan only shrugged. “She can find a ship for you, then. You’re a good fighter, Brand, but you’re not a good man. A good man stands for his shoulder-man. A good man holds the line.”
Maybe Brand should’ve snarled, “It isn’t fair,” as Thorn had when Hunnan broke her hopes. But Brand wasn’t much of a talker, and he had no words then. No anger in him when he actually needed it. He didn’t make even a mouse’s squeak while Hunnan turned and walked away. Didn’t even bunch his fists while the lads followed their master-at-arms toward the sea. The lads he’d trained with these ten years.
Some looked at him with scorn, some with surprise. One or two even gave him a sorry pat on the shoulder as they passed. But they all passed. Down the beach, toward the breaking waves and their hard-won places on the ships that rocked there. Down to their oaths of loyalty and off on the raid that Brand had dreamed of all his life. It was Rauk who went last, one hand slack on the hilt of his fine new sword, grinning over his shoulder.
“See you when we get back.”
Brand stood alone for a long time, not moving. Alone, in his borrowed mail, with the gulls crying over that vast stretch of sand, empty apart from the bootprints of the men he’d thought his brothers. Alone, long after the last ship had pushed off from the shore and out to sea, carrying Brand’s hopes away with it.
So it goes, with hopes.
POISON
She Who Sings the Wind sang one hell of a wind on the way over from Skekenhouse and they were washed leagues off-course.
They rowed like fury while Rulf roared abuse at them until his voice was hoarse and their oars were all tangled and every one of them was