you’ve been,” he says finally, “but there’s death all over you. It’s like you took a bath in dead people.”
“That pretty much sums up my night.”
“It’s not good. A limited amount of exposure is one thing, but you are covered in it. It’s corroding you.”
“There’s also the small matter of the blade.”
“Bah—not my department. Let the surgeon handle that. What good is getting unstuck if you’ve got death pervading every fiber of your aura?”
“Fair enough.”
He shakes his head. I feel like a kid that stayed out too late binge drinking and now has to clean up the mess. “Kia,” Baba Eddie yells over his shoulder. “Add some more basil.”
“Whatchya cookin’?”
“Shush. You need to conserve your energy, so stop wasting it on boberías. Try to sleep.”
* * *
When I wake up I’m once again being gazed at curiously, this time by a small, serious-looking dark-skinned woman. By her face you’d think she was young, too young to be a world-renowned trauma surgeon, except for the alarming streaks of white that run along either side of her otherwise pitch-black hair. She frowns at me, cocks her head to one side, frowns some more. Victor comes up beside her.
“What you think, Doc?”
Dr. Tijou considers, ponders, sighs, frowns some more, makes a hmming noise, coughs, and then shrugs. “Not bad.”
“Word?” I say.
“Don’t speak.”
“What’s the plan?” Victor asks.
“We pull it out.”
“Just like that?”
“Of course not. You’re going to start two large-bore IVs, and then we’re going to prep the site with disinfectant and give the patient a prophylactic dose of amoxicillin. We will set up all the surgical tools necessary in case he decides to exsanguinate.”
“Decides?”
“Don’t speak, I said. And then we will pull out the blade.”
Victor nods. “Sounds good.”
“Are you sure that’s the right way to do it?” I ask.
“I am sure that’s not the right way to do it, actually,” the doctor says matter-of-factly. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to a hospital?”
“I can’t.”
“Well, then, we are both sure of things. Now, be quiet.”
They work with startling efficiency. Victor wraps rubber tourniquets around my arms and stabs me with two very large needles. He attaches a bag of saline to each site and hangs them on the lamp next to the couch while Dr. Tijou scrubs her hands and prepares some medications.
Baba Eddie comes in from the kitchen and says, “Oh, you guys go ahead.”
“Ah,” Dr. Tijou says. “Dr. Voudou!”
Baba Eddie opens a wide smile. “Dr. Bonecutter.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, sir.”
“The pleasure is all mine.” They shake, both grinning widely. I don’t think anyone knows whether they’re kidding or not. Probably not even they know.
“Would you like to go first?” Dr. Tijou asks.
“No, no, ours can wait till after. Body first, then spirit. You go right ahead, my dear.”
Are they flirting? Mocking each other? I can’t tell. I don’t really care as long as I don’t die.
“Very well,” the doctor says with a courteous smile and a slight bow.
“Anyone want coffee?” Kia calls from the kitchen.
Everyone wants coffee except Dr. Tijou, who prefers tea.
“You ready?” she says a few minutes later when everything’s in place.
I nod. “I guess so.”
“I was talking to Victor.”
“Oh. Right.”
“I’m ready,” Victor says, putting down his coffee mug and standing over the makeshift surgical table they set up.
“Then pull.”
“Me?” Victor says.
“Him?” I say.
Dr. Tijou laughs. “It doesn’t take any special medical knowledge to pull a sword out of someone. It’s what happens after that matters. It seemed like something you might enjoy doing, as a medic. If you want, I could—”
“No, no,” Victor says, a little too hungrily. “I would love to. I just didn’t know . . . Yes.” He takes a deep breath, gloves up, and puts both hands on the blade handle.
Dr. Tijou nods. “Straight out, Victor. No twists, no turns. Just pull.”
“’Kay.” Victor’s sweating. So am I. He braces himself and then pulls. I groan as sharp blasts of pain explode through my abdomen. Then it’s gone and Dr. Tijou is peering gingerly into the hole it left behind.
“Bon Dieu!” she whispers.
“What?”
“The blade. She passed through your entire abdomen and out and somehow managed to miss every major organ and blood vessel, some by fractions of millimeters.” Her eyes are wide. “I have never seen anything like that in my life! There are many . . . There are so many organs there, and the blade simply . . .” She dabs some gauze around the wound to stave off a little pool of blood that’s formed. “Incredible.”
“I’m going to