to create the cross-sectional images."
Did Celia Nichols just enter the room?
"All you have to do is remember to breathe and not to move, Kendall." Patricia pats the pillow a final time and then moves to strap my legs down to the table. Flat on my back, I stare up at the industrial ceiling tiles. I center my energies on my breathing and try to relax, lulling myself into a meditative state until this is over.
"Okay, sweetie, here we go."
As the table begins moving into the tunnel, I do my best to ignore the thoughts creeping through my mind. I take myself somewhere else. I'm in a beautiful field of flowers. The wind is blowing, and the sun shines down brightly. I'm wearing a long flowy dress that drifts in the breeze as I run through the meadow. Peace and calm surround me. Nips of honeysuckle and juniper fill the air as I touch my fingertips to the blades of tall grass.
For a moment, I'm oblivious to the humming and drumming of the scanner as it inspects my brain for abnormalities. But then the machine jerks somewhat, knocking me out of my happy place.
A voice over the intercom says, "Sorry, Kendall. That happens sometimes. Are you okay?"
"Fine," I manage to eke out.
Okay, now I'm not tranquil at all. I'm lying in a frickin' metal tube that's shooting radiation into me. My heartbeat accelerates to breakneck speed, and my mind starts playing games. What if they've found something? What if they're zeroing in on a massive tumor pushing against my temporal lobe? What if I'm sporting a rare case of a disease they've never seen before and don't know how to treat? They work miracles with drugs and lasers today though, don't they? I could be the poster child for a new experimental procedure that saves lives and brain function. Would I have to have more radiation and chemotherapy? Would my hair end up in a pile on the floor? Oh God, it's bad enough being the new kid in school who claims to be psychic—now I'm bald too? I wouldn't expect Jason to date the bald chick. How uncool. But he already dates the psychic girl. He's not that superficial, so why am I painting him with that brush in my panicked state?
Questions, questions, questions. And I'm not the one to provide answers.
I need to just calm down and wait this out.
Suddenly, I'm not alone in the tunnel. A tender blanket of warmth covers me from my head to my toes, love so strong that it propels itself through my veins, powering my confidence and tranquillity. A delicate hand covers mine as it lies perfectly still on the table.
Emily.
She's here with me, holding me the best and only way she can. I literally feel her surrounding me in a soft bubble of shielding white light.
You're going to be fine ..., she comforts.
I understand completely and try to gulp down the anxiety clogged in my throat.
The CT clicks and spins around me, moving just as the nurse had told me it would. Instead of focusing on the negative of what might be, I concentrate on the images now flashing through my head of the people who have come before me on this table. There's John Sullivan from north of the city ... a town called Acworth. He had an accident with his motor-boat on Lake Gwinnett. There's also a woman named Lucille Something-or-other who was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor—eek!—but was treated successfully with surgery and chemo. Little Timmy Dennis, a boy from Minnesota who was visiting his grandparents in Buckhead. He rode his bike without a helmet and had some nasty hemorrhaging from a spill. Hundreds of others. Some nameless. Some faceless. All with a story.
And then there's me.
What will the test show?
A perfectly healthy, normal girl ..., Emily reassures me.
Somehow, I know she's right. I just do. There's nothing wrong with me. This is normal for me. I am who I am (excuse the Popeye reference) and can be what I am because that's the way it's supposed to be. I'll keep working with Emily and Loreen and Celia, Taylor, and Becca.
This is what I was destined to do.
Yes, you are, Kendall ...
Chapter Fifteen
"I'm done" I announce to Mom in the front waiting room.
The television blares out the latest episode of Oprah and whatever disease-of-the-day topic they're discussing. Wouldn't I make a great guest for her? I am a Chicago native, after all.
Mom gathers her things and comes over