to you right now. I’m going to Carmen’s and I will be at your place ready for brunch tomorrow at 10:30, just like we planned. And don’t you dare think of showing up and ruining girls’ night for me. I don’t barge in on your study dates.” And with that Lila snapped her phone closed, leaning back in the seat and closing her eyes. “Why is having a boyfriend such hard work?”
“Wouldn’t know, sista, haven’t had one of those in forever,” I replied, finally pulling into our parking lot outside of Wacker. We climbed out of the Camry, strolling with ease to the front door. “And from the way your relationship works, it’s better that way.” I couldn’t resist a little dig. Lila knew I didn’t enjoy Joel, especially when he was acting how he was that night. But I wasn’t up for a fight right then.
“I know, you’re right. I don’t know why I stay with him sometimes. It’s just this feeling that I have that he’s the one. I can’t shake that.”
“Babe, your feelings aren’t always right. Remember the scene you caused on the plane to Cancun?”
“I really thought there were snakes on the plane, Alex. I could practically feel them slithering up my legs.”
“Or you had watched the movie too many times in one month. Regardless, our plane was delayed, on the news, and we missed a full day in Mexico.”
“All right, all right.”
“Or the time during our first year where you swore up and down that Professor Lytle had made all his multiple-choice final exam answers the letter C? Me, you, and Emma all practically failed his class because of that.”
“Fine, fine, fine. I get it. My vibes aren’t one hundred percent. Neither are psychics or fortune tellers.”
Soon enough, we were back up in apartment 12, peeling off our work clothes that smelled of burgers and beer, and into comfy Margarita drinking clothes.
“I’m just saying–– don’t stick with one guy just because you have a feeling about it. Focus on how you actually feel when you are with him. Are you happy? Overjoyed? Blissed out?” I threw my black shorts and white top in my laundry basket, grabbing a pair of pink yoga pants and a white tunic from my closet and slipping into them. “Do you miss him when you’re not together? Can you see a future with him?” I continued, walking into Lila’s room and using her perfume to mask the stench of grease.
“Jeez, I get it, Al. But why do you think I should take advice from you? You said it yourself, you are one dateless sista.”
“I did not say I was dateless. I just haven’t had a long-term boyfriend in a while. I still go on dates,” I defended myself, thinking about my lousy track record with men.
“It’s because you got daddy issues. I’m telling you, just go on Oprah. She’ll help you figure it out. Not all men will run away. Look at my dad. Still happily married to my mom. They even have date night a few times a month!”
Even just a few years ago that sentence would make my insides curl. I didn’t like to be reminded of happy families when mine turned out to be such a shithole. I had taken therapy for it––obviously, who could survive a mother’s death and father’s hightailing without a few sessions–– and the pain in my heart was slowly residing. I knew I was lucky that Alicia took me in. And paid for my school. And bought me a nice car and sent me a monthly allowance. Not everybody had that kind of support in their life. I never wanted to take my sister or my nice life for granted. But when it came to love and men, the idea of it freaked me out. It was hard for me to trust and fully let my guard down.
“Let’s not dissect my love life now. I need a marg, and you need, like, seven so you can be black-out drunk to stop your snoring,” I said, grabbing my cell phone and slipping black flip-flops on. Carmen and Emma lived just two floors down from us, so we didn’t even have to bother with real shoes or sweatshirts. The perks of dorm life.
“I do not snore, you bitch. But seven margs will probably be enough to get my mind off Joel.” Lila paused with her hand hovering over the doorknob. “Are margaritas healthy for you? How many calories do they have?”
“I’m going to go