Bookstore, then out the door.
Myrna stood at the large window in her loft and saw him on the road below, visible in the light thrown by the bistro.
He turned and looked up at her. Then he took long strides away from the bookstore and the bistro. Past Clara’s home. Myrna watched him until he disappeared into the night.
And then the darkness was broken, by a small light.
* * *
After checking the house, including under the beds in case the demented old woman had died and rolled under one, Nathaniel went to the bistro.
She wasn’t there. But the big guy, one of the owners, had suggested the house along the road. Clara Morrow’s.
He headed there but met Amelia on her way out.
“Ruth Zardo? No, she’s not there. I wish. Just that old painter woman. She keeps staring at me. Gives me the creeps. I had to leave.”
“Why do you do that to yourself”—he indicated her piercings and tattoos—“if you don’t want people to stare?”
“Why do you dress like that?” She waved her hand at him.
“What?” He looked down at his coat and jeans. “Everybody dresses like this.”
“Exactly. Why do you want to be everyone?”
“Why do you want to be no one?”
The truth was, Amelia hadn’t left because of Clara.
When her host had gotten off her stool, Amelia had seen the painting. A full-on portrait. A self-portrait. It had blasted off the canvas, getting right up to Amelia. Getting in her face. They’d locked eyes, the painting and the person.
The painted woman glared at her. Like she knew Amelia. And knew what she’d done.
And Amelia had fled.
* * *
The light was on and the door was open.
Amelia couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in a church. Probably her christening, though now that she thought of it, Amelia didn’t know if she had been christened.
It was a tiny church, the smallest she’d ever seen. It was actually too dark to see the building itself. All they could see was the light through a stained-glass window.
The image, though, wasn’t of a crucifix, or a saint, or a martyr. What glowed in the night were boys. Barely men. Slogging through a glass battlefield.
“Come on,” said Nathaniel, already up the stairs and at the door. “Gabri said if Madame Zardo wasn’t at home or in the bistro or with the painter, she’d be here. Sleeping it off, probably.”
“Why’re you so anxious to find her?” asked Amelia, stomping up the steps after him.
“Because she’s my home,” he said. “Where else am I supposed to go?”
* * *
Ruth Zardo was indeed lying down, the duck nesting on her stomach. Her head propped on hymnals.
“Is she dead?” Nathaniel whispered.
“No, she’s not fucking dead,” said a voice.
Ruth sat up, but didn’t look at them. She looked at the person who’d just spoken.
Cadet Jacques Laurin was sitting off to the side, his boots on the pew in front. Drinking a beer he’d taken from that black woman’s fridge and shoved into the pocket of his jacket.
He’d given a near-perfect imitation of Ruth’s voice. Right down to the cadence and tone. Both angry and wounded. Somehow catching the slight vulnerability.
Nathaniel laughed and was horrified when both Jacques and Ruth turned to look at him.
God help me, he thought.
“What’re you doing here?” they all asked each other at once, just as Huifen arrived.
“I saw you guys come up here. Oh, wonderful.” She sat down next to Jacques and, grabbing the bottle from him, she took a swig of beer. “Why’re we here?”
“I’m here for some peace and quiet,” said Ruth, glaring at them.
Jacques tilted his beer toward her, and after a moment’s hesitation, she nodded. He got up and handed Ruth the bottle, sitting down beside her.
“I was watching you,” he said. “Why’re you staring at that?”
He lifted his chin toward the stained-glass window and the brittle boys.
“Where else am I supposed to look?” Ruth demanded, handing back the bottle.
The cadets scanned the chapel. There was a central aisle with wooden pews on either side that looked handmade, each slightly different. There were just a few rows of seats and then the altar, also handmade. Well made. Indeed, beautifully carved, with leaves and a huge spreading oak tree.
“I come here to write sometimes,” Ruth admitted, and they saw the notebook wedged between her and the back of the pew. “It’s quiet. No one comes into churches anymore. God has left the building, and is wandering. Or wondering.”
“In the wilderness,” said Amelia.
Ruth glared at her, but Amelia had the impression it was more