know how your wards were damaged, Sable,” she says, clear contrition in her beautiful face. “And I’m so very sorry that your lives were not what I had hoped for you three.”
Nefta’s eyes well with emotion as she stares at each of us earnestly, her gaze begging us to see what she was up against, what a difficult decision it was, that she cares.
“And you should know that I did want you. But I thought being with me would make you even more of a target. Perhaps I should have tried anyway, or I should have told Tazreel. I was convinced it was the best way at the time, but now…”
“No,” Tazreel interrupts. “You were right to do what you did. I still don’t like it, but I can see how there was no right way to protect them. Hell wouldn’t have been any safer. It was an impossible decision, and what happened is out of anyone’s control.”
Everyone sits back from the table like Tazreel’s admission just sent a shock wave down the table that forced us all back.
“I’m sorry,” Nefta offers evenly again, her shoulders squared like she’s ready for her words to be flung back in her face. I watch her, her stance like she’s ready for battle, and I try to put myself in her shoes, knowing what I know now.
It’s one of those things where I wish life wasn’t so brutally hard, and yet all the pain and loss and loneliness is what led me here. It’s what made me who I am. Hating her doesn’t change what happened to me, to us. I don’t even know if I can really say that I would want what happened to me to change if it meant I wouldn’t end up here with my sisters, with my mates.
I can feel in my chest that Medley and Delta feel the same way. That what they have now far outweighs the struggle it was to get here.
I look back and forth between my biological parents, at the effort they’re making with each other all for us. Maybe things went badly for us in the past, but it doesn’t mean that our future has to be riddled with it too.
I take a deep breath and fix my gaze on Nefta. “Thank you for saying that and for helping us destroy Morax. I don’t want to speak for everyone here, but I would like to move forward. Like Taz said, it was an impossible choice, and what happened was out of everyone’s hands. We can start fresh now, if you want,” I offer, and it almost breaks my heart as I watch the strong Legion Colonel in front of me fight to keep from breaking as emotion slams through her.
“I agree with Sable,” Medley announces, and Nefta’s head drops as palpable relief ripples out from her as she works to keep her composure.
“Me too,” Delta adds. “We can build on this now that we’re all together. We can be there for each other like each of us deserves and wants.”
Nefta wipes at her eyes and clears her throat, nodding and lifting her head as she wrestles to keep control.
“Here, here,” Tazreel declares, his cup raised in toast, turning to Nefta and placing a careful hand over hers. She looks up at him warily. “Like Sable said, this isn’t about us anymore, it’s about them. We’ll keep our girls safe. That doesn’t just fall to you now,” he says before dropping his hand.
We all raise a glass, and slowly, Nefta picks up the one in front of her and joins us. “I’ll drink to that,” she announces, and then we all cheer and whoop and take a deep pull from our glasses.
“Mmmm,” I observe at the same time Nefta starts coughing uncontrollably. “What in Satan’s taint is this stuff?” she asks, wiping her tongue with a napkin and staring at the goblet like she’s trying to figure out where to stab it to inflict the most pain.
Delta starts to choke on her drink in laughter, and Rafferty pats her hard on the back as she works to clear her lungs of the aspirated liquid.
“I warned you,” she croaks. “But real talk, how would you even know what Satan’s taint tastes like?”
Medley and I go wide-eyed as our gazes snap from Delta to Nefta.
She gives Delta the look, the one I’ve seen TV moms give their sitcom kids when they’re not amused.
“It’s a saying, smart ass,” she states with a shake of her head.