I was at my lowest. She had an untainted heart that was pure gold. I hated the idea of anyone not appreciating how special she was. Mercer flitted from flower to flower like a busy bee, so it was odd to see her so hung up on a guy who she said wasn’t her type. Maybe he was playing hard to get on purpose so that she spent more time thinking about him and trying to win him over than she would on someone more accommodating.
“You were the one who kept telling me to stay persistent and not give up on getting into Huck’s house. And you mentioned this new guy is shy. His relationship pace might not match yours, so you’ll have to slow down to stay with him. If you really like him, all you can do is try and find common ground.” I was the last person alive who should be giving relationship advice, but I hated seeing her look so sad or questioning her own worth.
She sat up as our food finally arrived, and we dug in hungrily. She pointed the end of her taco in my direction and told me, “He actually tried to tag along on this lunch date. I was tempted to let him come since it’s the first thing he’s seemed interested in about my life in days, but I knew you were upset with me since I have been so bad about getting back to you lately. He was honestly a little bit rude when I refused to let him come.” She shrugged her shoulders and took a big bite.
I tried not to panic as I asked, “He doesn’t know who I am or where I’m from, right?”
I was still anxiously waiting to see what Sawyer would do next. It was entirely possible he hired a minion to do his bidding, and the easiest way to get close to me would be to get close to Mercer. I trusted her and wanted to protect her. It was a weakness I was well aware of. One that Sawyer would absolutely use against me if he knew about it.
“Don’t worry. I only told him I was meeting with a co-worker. I keep your secrets close. You know you can trust me.” I nodded slightly, hoping I could indeed trust her even though she was acting somewhat strange since this new guy had entered the picture.
She was the one who changed the topic now that the atmosphere was heavy with worry between the two of us. “So, what are you going to do about Huck? Are you going to sleep with him?”
“If you’re being technical, I’ve slept with him plenty.” When we were little, and even into our teens, having a secret sleepover wasn’t uncommon. We were inseparable in all ways, and I didn’t realize until he was gone that my attachment to him might read as something else to those looking in from the outside. It wasn’t until Sawyer started showing his true colors and accused me of some really perverse things that I understood why clinging to Huck might not appear as innocent to others as it always was to us. “If you’re asking if I’m going to have fuck him before he fucks me, then yes.”
I had too much to lose to not at least consider it.
Mercer made a humming sound and gave me a look I couldn’t fully decipher. “Or you could just have sex together. Maybe it’ll be so damn good you’ll both forget there are ulterior motives.”
I bit down harder on my fork than I meant to, my teeth clicking against the metal angrily. I cleared my throat and reached for my drink.
“Huck has plenty of experience, so I’m sure he’ll be fine if I strike first. You know my story. I’ve only been with one other person, and it didn’t end well.” And that single time had also been rife with reasons other than love and affection, or even teenage curiosity.
The first boy I’d ever been with was more of an experiment than anything else. I knew Sawyer was interfering in my life in unmanageable ways. I knew he had his fingers in everything I did and that he was maneuvering and manipulating anyone who dared get close to me. I couldn’t prove it. No one listened to me when I told them he’d gone too far. My last desperate attempt to have any kind of control was to sleep with a seemingly nice guy I met