God of Monsters (Juniper Unraveling #4) - Keri Lake Page 0,148
landscape marred by so much destruction, slips beneath my wandering hands. I push up from his chest, to find that beautiful golden eye is now black. The dark hair turned to white curls.
Remus smiles back at me. “I knew you did, Thalia. I knew it all along.”
Eyes screwed so tight a flash of light hits the back of my eyelids, I turn away.
“He isn’t here. It’s Titus. Remus is dead,” I whisper to myself, and feel the gentle touch to my face that has me craning away from him.
“Thalia, don’t force this.”
“No! I’ll not have him come between us every time. I won’t let him win! I won’t! Make him go away, Titus! Make me forget him! Make me forget everything!”
He nudges my jaw back toward him. “When I touch you, don’t close your eyes. Look at me. Feel me. Stay with me.”
“I want to, but I can’t. This feels too much like a dream. And if I open my eyes, you’ll be gone. Fizzled away, just like every other time before. You’ll be dead all over again, and I cannot bear that reality. I won’t.”
“I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
I open my eyes to Titus, who keeps his gaze locked on mine. Reaching down as before, I guide him to my entrance, and rock against him slowly, allowing myself to stretch around his girth. I flinch at the size of him, but he doesn’t move, instead allowing me to take him at my own pace. Bigger than I thought, he can hardly breach my opening, and when only his tip slides against my walls, the pressure coils my stomach.
Oh, God. A sick fear churns inside of me, that I won’t be able to fit more than this, but I’ve seen firsthand what miraculous things a woman’s body can do. And I’m determined.
I cannot stand the thought of Remus being my last. I have to erase his touch, his unwelcomed invasion of my body, and Titus is the only man I trust to do that. The only man I know who would sooner hurt himself than me.
Still watching me, he reaches up to grip the back of my neck, tangling his fingers in my hair. “Slow, Thalia. There’s no rush.”
Little by little, I take him inside of my body, and there’s a new ache. A good ache. One that will stay with me far longer than the torment Remus inflicted on me.
The ache for a stronger man, who doesn’t have to dole out pain to assert his power, but takes it upon himself to lift the burden, the unimaginable weight of humiliation that presses down on me.
“You once told me you didn’t deserve me.” A tear slips down my cheek, falling onto his warm skin beneath me. “There is no man left in this world who will ever compare to you, Titus. Ever.”
He sits up from the bed, while I stir my hips against him, feeling him move inside my body, up into my stomach. His lips devour my neck, his fingers tangled deep in my hair, squeezing, as he tips my head back and drags his tongue to my jawline. Up higher, to my lips, stealing my next breath. I moan into his mouth, and for the first time, I feel resurrected.
Whole again.
Like I’ve reached into my past and stolen back some of the power from the girl I was before. The girl I’ll never wholly be again.
I’ve filled that impossible hollow inside of me with something stronger than the hate and loathing: love.
The purist love there is.
The unselfish, unconditional kind of love that has the power to bring the dead back to life. I want to tear myself open for him and sew him inside of me, so I never fall into that blackness again.
Rocking my hips faster, I wrap my arms tight around him, pulling his body as close to me as I can, and I let him fuck away my darkest memories.
His muscles contract and flex beneath me like a robust machine. A vigorous mass of force and kinetics, heat and friction with a natural rhythm, like waves beating against the shore. Gentle enough not to hurt me, but strong enough to distract me from the thoughts that scrape through my mind, threatening to pull me into the abysmal depths.
He’s the first deep breath after drowning. The promise of new life.
I surrender, open myself to him, allowing him to reach inside and throttle what’s left of my shame, to drag it out of me,