God of Monsters (Juniper Unraveling #4) - Keri Lake Page 0,146

when I’m with you. Invincible. You give me strength.”

It’s true. Every time I’ve felt knocked down by this world, Titus has been there to build me back up. He’s caught my fall, in spite of the fact that I continue to be a liability for him.

A weakness, as he said.

I climb on top of him, legs straddling his hard body, and as I lift the hem of his shirt, he sits up enough to allow me to pull it over his head. Gaze devouring his lean, chiseled form, I lean forward to kiss his chest. The scent of him hits the back of my throat again, watering my mouth. Something pulls from deep inside my stomach, a craving to have him in ways I shouldn’t right now. It somehow overrides the inhibitions sounding off inside my head that tell me it’s too soon. That I’ve not healed mentally and physically, in spite of what I feel.

As if he can hear them, too, his hands slide up from the side of me and lift me up just enough to break the kiss. “Thalia … we don’t have to do this right now.” The strained tone of his voice, alongside the slight tremble in his muscles, belies his words. The few times we’ve been together, I’ve noticed the vibration beneath his skin, as if his body is fighting to hold back.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

His dubious expression tells me he doesn’t believe me.

I thread my fingers in his hair, stretching my body over his, and I bury my face in his neck to hide the doubt I suspect is written all over my own face.

Rough hands smooth along my curves to the underside of my thighs, and he lifts his head just enough to kiss my neck. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“I’m ready. I want this. I want you.” What I want and need more than anything is normalcy. To distance myself from what happened and return to the girl I was before. I drag my tongue across his throat, while snaking my hand down inside his jeans.

He squeezes the back of my thighs as his groan rumbles across my lips. “Fucking hell, I’m trying to be decent, woman.” His voice cracks at the end, and he plants a kiss on my shoulder. “Please, Thalia. I can’t say no to you.”

He doesn’t want you, a familiar voice inside my head taunts. You’re no longer appealing. You’re worthless.

“I’m used now, Titus,” I say, with tears misting my eyes. “It doesn’t matter what you do to me.”

Grip tightening around me, he draws me in closer. “You’re not used. You’re not damaged. You are stronger today than you were yesterday. And tomorrow, you’ll be stronger still.”

No. I know better than that. Secrets I haven’t told him yet. Compartments inside my head that taunt me now, the demons Remus left for me.

“There are things you don’t know, Titus. Things that would disappoint you, after all that time you took to train me.”

“What things? What things could you have possibly done that would disappoint me?”

“I stopped fighting him. After a while. I laid there, while he …” The words choke at the back of my throat, and I push away the endless tears itching to escape. “… had his way with me.” An unbidden memory of lying on the bed, my limp and lifeless body jostling with his assault, is enough to make me want to puke. “I stopped fighting him.”

Brows flickering with what looks like restrained rage, he shakes his head. “Someday, you’ll stop punishing yourself. That’s when you’ll see the truth.”

“What truth?”

“The real battle hasn’t even begun yet. So don’t be so quick to give up on yourself now.” The thought of such a thing is unbearable. Like an anchor weighing down on me, pulling me deeper beneath the surface, until he adds, “But when you’re tired, I’ll be here to take some of those punches.”

How is it possible that in a world full of lesser men, who would take and violate, I’ve found the one who would give the last piece of himself? The singular man unafraid to stand in front of me, like a shield to all my doubts and self-loathing.

I push up from him, staring down at his unearthly, beautiful face, one this world doesn’t deserve. “Why do you keep saving me, Titus? From myself. From others. You’re free to go anywhere in this world. Countless women would fall at your feet, for the safety and protection you