Glitter - Abbi Glines Page 0,85

loved, would surely hate me. That was a pain far worse than any I could comprehend. Yet, I knew I would never have been his choice. He had made that clear with his failure to choose.

“You are quiet tonight,” Nicholas noted.

“Yes, I believe I am nervous,” I replied with honesty. For if we were to be married then I wanted to begin with truth always.

“It seems Ashington finds little else of interest in the room tonight,” Nicholas said, making it clear he was aware his brother was watching us or perhaps me.

“He must have been reminded of my existence tonight,” I quipped in an attempt to make light of the matter.

Nicholas smirked. “It does appear that way.”

The dance was not even yet at an end when Lord Ashington began to move through the crowd in our direction. I knew no one was aware of our recent betrothal, so his sudden attention could not be summoned from that knowledge. My hand tightened on Nicholas’s arm and I tried to steady myself before his arrival.

With a quick glance over his left shoulder, Nicholas took in the situation at hand and I felt him tense as well. Neither of us had been prepared for Ashington to approach us. I had assumed he would continue to ignore me as he had at the last ball. Why tonight did he choose to remind me how he made me feel? It was not as if I had forgotten. I was haunted with my feelings for him every moment.

“Miss Bathurst,” Lord Ashington greeted me formally when he made it to us just as the song had ended. “I believe I am promised the next dance.”

I knew he was not.

But Nicholas did not know this.

I stood there on my very own precipice.

I was not a liar and I would tell Nicholas the truth, but not at this moment. For right now I needed this dance. There may not be another chance such as this to speak to Ashington before my betrothal to his brother is announced. He may not need to hear it from me, but I needed to be the one to tell him. It was me who was foolish enough to fall in love with him after all. I was seeking closure and I hoped Nicholas would understand my decision.

Slowly I removed my hand from Nicholas’s arm and the small sense of security and support I had drawn from him was gone. Perhaps I had made the wrong decision. I thought I was strong enough to face Ashington, but without Nicholas beside me, maybe I was not.

Ashington held out his hand as the music started up again and as if I were watching someone else, I placed my hand in his and stepped away from my only friend and into the arms of the man who had broken my heart so easily. My body in turn reacted as if it had been given back to its rightful owner and hummed with pleasure from his nearness. Did the rest of me not realize my heart had been damaged by this man? Did those butterflies that were ever present in my stomach when he was near and the tingles from his touch not understand how very dangerous he was? Were we not all one and the same? Did they not feel the agony that I felt, knowing that he would soon hate me?

“I am sorry, Miriam,” he said without hesitation. I could feel the heat from his gaze on me, but I kept my eyes locked on nothing and everything but him. I did not trust myself to look up into his eyes, the color of the darkest blue seas. I dreamed of those eyes and the way they reminded me of a storm churning when he was aroused. No! I would not allow myself to get swept away with emotion and become weak. This was the man who had so easily forgotten me. Without explanation, he had acted as if we did not know each other at all.

“Me too,” I replied with a new found will. I swung my gaze to meet his, determined to say what needed to be said before this dance was over. “For trusting you,” I added. “It was a mistake. One I shall not make again. Today Nicholas asked me to marry him and I said yes. He chose me over the revenge he so harbored toward you. I can trust him,” I did not say ‘not to hurt me’ because I