Glitter - Abbi Glines Page 0,84

to be in love with Ashington. I’m a perceptive man and with you I find I am unable to take my eyes off you. Therefore, I have learned much about your expressions,” he paused then and I turned to look at him. This was not the conversation I thought we would have.

I had hoped he would come talk of things that made me laugh such as whatever silly gossip he had heard last or something trivial.

“I’m not an earl, but I’m not without wealth. I know you do not care about being accepted into London’s social rankings, but you do want that for Whitney and as you have witnessed, I am well-loved amongst the ton. My country estate is not comparable to Chatwick Hall, but it is lovely and there is room for your sister and your mother as well if you so choose. I can make you happy, Miriam. I can give you all the things you want so desperately for you sister and I can give you the one thing you seem to overlook for yourself.” He paused again then stood up.

I remained frozen, unable to move. He was saying words that didn’t make sense. Nicholas had his own agenda and this did not play into his plans at all. I watched as he knelt down on one knee in front of me and he took both my hands in his.

“I am completely in love with you. It does not matter to me that you love another. I love you enough for both of us and I believe one day you will grow to love me too. Marry me, Miriam.”

I stared down at our hands joined together in my lap unable to meet his gaze.

“This isn’t what you wanted. Marrying me does not get the revenge on your brother you wanted. He does not want me.” My words came out in a whisper, as if there were others around that could hear me.

His hands held mine tighter. “Miriam, look at me,” he pleaded.

Unable to ignore him, for although I did not love him, he was my friend and I did care for him, I lifted my eyes to his. There was a gentleness there that was comforting. Something I had seen very little of in my life. Something I had craved.

“I came to London seeking revenge and instead I found you. You, Miriam Bathurst, changed everything. The anger, the bitterness, the hatred, it all melted away and all that was left was you. All I could see was you. All I wanted was you. You saved me from my own inner Hell.”

For the second time today, tears stung my eyes. This time I didn’t fight them. I didn’t withhold them. Perhaps I needed to cry. For all I had wanted. For all I had lost. For all I had dreamed about. And for what I had found. This wasn’t a love story. It was a story of redemption. It was a story of friendship.

I had always wanted to be loved and here was a man proclaiming his love for me. Could I want for something my entire life then when it was handed to me so selflessly walk away from it?

No. I could not. That wasn’t who I was.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Miriam Bathurst

With each movement, be it a full turn or slight move of hand, I knew I was being watched closely. The smile I kept on my lips wasn’t easy and I had no doubt that my dance partner noticed the less than genuine expression I was trying hard to keep in place. This was it, tonight, would be the last night I attended a ball as simply, Miriam Bathurst. There was no more time to decide. My decision had been made.

I stiffened as I moved in the arms of the man I had agreed to marry this morning in my aunt’s rose garden. He, however, wasn’t who I loved and I wished desperately that he was. I did not have forever to wait for the man I had thought might love me to realize he did. My mother and sister needed me to marry. Glancing up into beautiful green eyes of the man that held me, my smile became genuine, even if it was sad.

Tonight would be the last time I was given this freedom to enjoy his friendship and the simplicity of his company. So much would change and I hoped it didn’t destroy us all. For after I became his wife, the man my traitorous heart