away.
When Rowan raised his head, Kevin was looking at him. His expression radiated his usual gentle strength.
Kevin smiled. “Hey. What’s with the face?”
Rowan touched his cheek, wondering what kind of face he was pulling. “I don’t know.”
“If it’s something you’ve decided on your own then there’s not a problem and I say go for it.” Kevin smiled. “I just felt I needed to ask for my own peace of mind. I know the others will say I’m being too nosy, and you’re not exactly my little brother anymore, but…”
“Thanks,” Rowan said. “Yes, Gideon’s my boss, but whatever happens, it’ll be because I want it to. He would never take advantage. He’s not like that.”
Kevin nodded. “I guess I worried over nothing. If it’s what you want, I’m glad.” He snorted a soft laugh. “You’ve changed a little, you know?”
“I have?”
“Yeah, I think so. Seems you’re able to do things for yourself now, not just for those around you.” He pressed his lips together. “I’m only realizing it now, but I think maybe you changed a while ago.” He squeezed Rowan’s shoulder. “It suits you.” He took a deep breath. “Right, I need to go and help wrangle the kids to bed.”
“Sure.”
Kevin left the kitchen.
I’ve changed? Had he really? Wanting to change had been the reason he had taken the job at Bryant & Waites in the first place. He smiled to himself. Just as Kevin hadn’t realized, maybe he hadn’t himself. He actually had been moving forward all this time.
“Man, it’s so cold,” Rowan said in a hushed voice and stomped his feet on the snowy ground. He glanced back at the house aware of the people already asleep. Kevin and his family had headed for their cabin a few hours ago, while Sarah’s two were in one of the rooms upstairs.
“Three minutes,” Gideon said and slipped his cell phone into his coat.
“To what?”
“Christmas.”
“Ugh, seriously? When did it get so late? Sorry about that.” Rowan stretched his neck from side to side.
Gideon bumped his elbow to Rowan’s. “I had fun.”
“You sure? Probably not how you imagined celebrating your birthday this year.”
Gideon chuckled. “Actually, it was better.”
“Really?”
“Really. I haven’t had a good birthday in a very long time. Not really.”
Rowan linked his arm in Gideon’s. He wanted to hear more, but he also didn’t. It was enough to know Gideon had enjoyed himself amidst the chaos called Rowan’s family. They walked in a comfortable silence back to the cabin, and he shelved the questions he had for a later time.
“Gideon,” Rowan said when they stepped inside.
“Yeah?” Gideon closed the door and turned to face Rowan. “What—” His words were cut off as Rowan grabbed his face and pulled him into a long kiss.
Ah, warm.
Rowan moved his mouth, gently brushing Gideon’s lips with his tongue. He breathed in through his nose and eventually parted. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”
What I want. He thought back to his conversation with Kevin.
“Yeah?”
“How about you?” He grinned at Gideon’s surprised expression. “I know we’ve not had a chance to talk about it properly, so if you regret earlier, we can chalk it up to this being nothing more than a Christmas kiss. We can say I was filled with Christmas spirit—”
Gideon clamped his hand over Rowan’s mouth. “Stop talking.” He lowered his hand, leaving Rowan expectant, and he wasn’t disappointed when Gideon grabbed the front of his coat, pulled him close, and kissed him firmly.
They stood together, Gideon’s back to the door, one hand holding Rowan in place, the other lifting the bottom of Rowan’s jacket, seeking entry beneath the numerous layers to squeeze the flesh of his hip.
They kissed for a long time. Rowan pressed one hand to Gideon’s chest and with his other, he threaded his fingers through the back of Gideon’s hair.
This is what I want.
The kiss went on, heat flushing his body.
Too hot. Too many layers.
“Say, Gideon?” he said when they finally parted.
“What?” Gideon asked, catching his breath. His eyes were glazed, and he almost looked as desperate as Rowan felt for the two of them to connect.
Rowan hugged his neck, pressed his mouth to Gideon’s ear, and whispered, “How’s the knee?”
Twelve
Gideon
“The knee’s good,” Gideon lied and slipped his hand under Rowan’s sweater and the T-shirt underneath to find skin. Rowan hissed at the touch, and Gideon immediately moved his hand, only for Rowan to grip it hard and put it back in the exact same place.
“Cold hands but more,” Rowan demanded and wrapped his hands around Gideon’s neck,