walk away. She is striking. Her mother is Norwegian and she has inherited her Scan, confidence and good looks. She’s one of those women who can make a beady bag and a friendship bangle look cool rather than childish. She is five foot ten; she has no hips, no thighs, no stomach. She is the ideal woman, as far as women are concerned. Generally Bale likes his women a little curvy, but then that is a generalization. It’s possible they’ve had sex. However, I don’t want to ask her. What’s the point? She wouldn’t have to tell me the truth. If she has slept with him she will have no influence over him, whatever she thinks to the contrary. But it is possible that he’s still trying to seduce her, and if this is the case I can’t afford to alienate her. She could be useful.
‘Hey, Fi. Yeah, you can help. Organize a meeting between our team after lunch. We need a brainstorm.’ I smile. We both know the smile is business. She grins back and I’m relieved. She probably hasn’t slept with him yet. I normally know about such things long before the participants do. I consider warning her but decide not to. She’ll either think I am jealous or too old to know better. Advice, by its very nature, is there to be ignored.
Our office is a huge glass building that seems to rise endlessly upwards. It’s turned inside out like the Pompidou Centre. There is an odd mix of ritz and tat. Diet Coke and watery hot drinks from vending machines are consumed around Conran aluminium tables. There are plants oxygenating the room but I suspect the nod towards green and leafy is a losing battle. Since television studios are some of the few places left in London where people can still smoke, most feel it is obligatory. A dense smoky haze fills our days. People don’t move around much, they stay at their desks. This suggests that there is a substantial amount of genuine industry but not much communication. Calling a meeting indicates the seriousness of my issue. Through the glass partition I see my team congregate. It’s like watching a bunch of anxious relatives waiting by a sick bed. The analogy is frighteningly close to the reality. I’m pleasantly surprised to see that they possibly realize as much; everyone appears slightly nervous and sweaty. They are trying hard to look as though they are not trying at all. Their names are Thomas and Mark (the creative team), Jacquelyn (production secretary), Diana (marketing manager), Graham (sponsorship and advertising manager), Deborah (PR officer), Richard (broadcast strategy and scheduling manager) and Fi. Because we work in TV they are known as Tom, Jaki, Di, Gray, Debs, Ricky and Fi. There was nothing we could do with Mark.
The team look at one another to discover a suitable expression to draw their faces into. They are trying to decide whether to look racked with professional concern, coolly indifferent or bright and optimistic. The problem with my industry is that a very large part of it is populated by those who refuse to leave their student years behind them. They dress like students. Everyone is ill-looking thin. Dressing down is an art form. The merest hint of trying, an iota of personal pride, will be condemned. Everyone looks as though they do too many drugs, and smoke and drink too much. It’s fair. Besides looking like students, the attitudes are similar, too. It is only students who could have arrived at the concepts of ‘essay crisis’ or ‘no milk in the fridge crisis’. These are not crises. Crises are earthquakes, famines and tidal waves. My team understands that the cancellation of the Christmas karaoke act is a crisis but have no concept that twelve weeks of plummeting ratings is a crisis. If they do get the concept and panic about it for fifteen minutes or so, they can’t hold the concept. It’s usual that mid-brainstorm or meeting, someone suggests that we need to go to the pub for a ‘break from the intensity’. On our return the original subject of the meeting is forgotten and the debate has moved on to whether salt and Linneker are a better flavour crisp than cheese and onion.
I don’t feel like this. There is nothing more important than my job.
I never enter a meeting room without first thinking through exactly what I want to say, how I want to say it and what effect I