I have to stop thinking about her like that. Seriously.
I can do it. I may like women and sex, but I know enough to keep my hands off a friend who was someone else’s fiancée a few days ago.
We continue to chat as we eat. My fajitas arrive sizzling at the table, smelling amazing, and I dive into them. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was. Maybe I was hangry earlier. That would also explain my annoyance with Justin at the pool.
“Is Christmas your favorite holiday?” she asks.
“Why do you ask that?”
“The way you were talking about playing hockey with your family at Christmas in the past.”
“Oh. Well. Christmas is different now. The whole family doesn’t get together anymore, especially the last few years. And I try to make sure I spend time with my mom and my grandma and grandpa on her side.”
“And the break at Christmas is short. That must make it hard, too.”
“True. But yeah, I like Christmas. Memories, you know?”
“I know.”
“How about you? Is Christmas a big family time?”
“Thanksgiving more so, I guess. I don’t have much family. My brother’s married and has two kids and I love them to bits, but outside of that we don’t have much extended family. I love Christmas though. I love giving presents, and I love snow and twinkling lights.”
“I love snow too. Lots of people think that’s nuts.”
“Well, it can be a pain in the ass, but it can also be beautiful. Actually, it’s kind of magical…that nature can form so many incredibly tiny crystals and pile them up and they’re perfectly white and sparkly.”
I tip my head and smile at her description. She’s right. It is kind of magical. “Yeah.”
“You’d miss snow if you lived here, Canuck boy.”
I laugh. “I definitely would.”
It’s dusk as we leave the restaurant. Back at the resort, we agree to another walk around the grounds.
“Tomorrow I’ll check out the beach,” Molly says. “I found the path to get there.”
“I’ll come with you.” I pause. “If that’s okay.”
She glances sideways at me. “Sure, it’s okay. You don’t have other plans tomorrow?”
“Not until evening.”
She nods. “What about your dad?”
My teeth clench involuntarily. “What about him?”
“You are going to see him again, aren’t you?”
“Sure, yeah. At some point.”
“How about tomorrow? Give him a call and see if he wants to do lunch.”
“Why are you pushing me to see my dad?”
“I’m not!” She pauses. “Okay, I am. I just think it would be good for you.”
“Good for me?” Annoyance fizzes in my gut. “What does that mean?”
She doesn’t answer right away. Finally she says, “I should stay out of it.”
“Good idea.”
My words came out harsher than I intended, and I sense her hurt. We walk in silence for a moment, then in a low voice I say, “Sorry. Again.”
“Sorry for what?” Her tone is light.
“I was rude.”
“No, I was. It’s not my business what’s between you and your father.”
It’s true. Molly and I are friends, but not like best buds. It really isn’t her business. So why do I want to know why she said it would be good for me to see my dad? I really don’t care about him that much.
“I came here to fix things with Grandpa,” I say stiffly. “Not my dad.”
Silence expands between us.
“Jax. You just said it might be too late for you and your grandpa. Why wait to fix things with your dad? What if something happens to him?”
Christ. She’s right. As always.
This wasn’t part of my plan in coming here. My relationship with Dad is what it is. I had no intention of trying to make things up with him too. But… “I’ll call him tomorrow,” I say gruffly.
She just nods and we keep walking.
“Do you play golf?” I ask.
“Um. I have. I’m not very good at it.”
“We could golf one day. There’s a nine-hole course here.”
“I guess we could. But Jax, you don’t have to entertain me, really.”
I’m afraid to open my mouth in case what I say comes out sounding wrong again. I know I don’t have to entertain her.
“And don’t use me to procrastinate on dealing with your family,” she adds.
My head jerks back. “I’m not doing that!”
She purses her lips. “Are you sure?”
Maybe I am. But admitting to that makes it sound like I don’t want to be with her. Goddammit, this conversation is full of land mines waiting for me to step on. I rub my face. “Look. I admit hanging out with my family isn’t my favorite thing to do. I’d rather