full of desperation. She strikes me again on the chest with her closed fist. It’s like being attacked by a kitten.
“You can calm down,” I tell her, taking her by the wrists firmly. “And you can stop fucking hitting me.”
“Answer my questions!” She struggles briefly, trying to pull her wrists from my hands, but it’s no use.
“I will. Once you calm the hell down,” I shove her roughly away from me. What I need right now, is a drink. I go to the kitchen and slip off my suit jacket, tossing it over one of the tall barstools.
As soon as she sees my shirt, Lilly’s screams begin anew. “Is that blood?!” She gestures at the rust-colored spots on my shirt.
I don’t answer her. I’m grabbing a tumbler from the cabinet and the bottle of scotch I keep handy. I pour myself a tall, stiff drink.
“David, what the hell is going on? I played a part in what happened to those men. So I deserve to know what the fuck is going on.” Lilly’s voice is now calmer but firm. She stands in front of me, her arms crossed and juts her chin at me.
“That’s the first time I’ve heard you drop an f-bomb,” I say, once my surprise wanes.
She’s already opening her mouth to light into me all over again but I raise my hand to silence her.
“You don’t have to worry about those bozos,” I go on. I pause and take a sip of the scotch, savoring the fullness of the alcohol. “They’re fine.”
“Then what’s on your shirt?”
“You want the honest god dammed truth?” I grip the tumbler in my hand tighter, and realize I have to stop before I crush it.
“Yes. That’s all I’ve been asking for.”
“Yes, Lilly. Me and my guys roughed them up a little bit. What the hell did you expect?”
Her eyes grow wider.
“But they’re still alive, alright? They fucking shouldn’t be. In this town, cheating at cards is a death sentence.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Her voice is shrill again. “It’s just cards.”
“It’s fucking millions of dollars, Lilly. In the big picture. Billions goes through these casinos. Imagine the anarchy if every asshole with half a brain cell thought he could get away with cheating.”
“Bullshit!” She advances on me, her eyes ablaze. “There are other ways. You don’t have to physically hurt people.” She’s right in front of me now, staring up at me, her fists balled up at her sides.
“I should have offed both of those idiots. They’re just mafia scum anyway. God knows what crimes they’ve committed.” My voice is low and has the hint of warning that any member of my staff would recognize. It means leave me the fuck alone.
“If you’d killed them, you wouldn’t be any better than they are,” Lilly hisses at me.
“And what makes you think I’m better than they are?” I shout. I’m starting to get pissed. I don’t want to lose control.
She just stares at me in horror and her fear spurs me on. I finally let out what I’ve had in the back of my mind this whole time, but haven’t said out loud—
“I let them fucking go, Lilly! What the fuck do you want from me? Yeah, I roughed ‘em up a little. But I let them live. That’s more of a courtesy than my own father was fucking allowed when he was murdered.” I slam the glass tumbler down on the kitchen counter. It breaks. Lilly jumps at the noise.
“Your… What?” She steps back from me, looking confused. All of the anger drains from her face and something new, like pity, takes over. It’s the last thing I want to see.
“Forget it. I’m done talking about this.” I step towards her and catch hold of one of her arms, jerking her rapidly towards me.
“Let go!” She looks up at me and the pity on her face is replaced by rage as she squirms in my arms. “You’re just being a bully! There’s nothing wrong with talking. And I deserve an explanation. Deanna was right, you are a monster.”
“Don’t say that.” I shake her shoulders slightly. “I’ve had a long fucking day. A stressful day. I don’t want to talk anymore, about anything.”
She pauses and looks up at me. The look on her face is one I’ve never seen before. Her eyes are still slightly red from crying and she’s biting her bottom lip so hard, she’s drawing a tiny speck of blood. But her eyes are strong and blazing with a fresh fire.
“So what do