I used it on Mitch,” she said. “He never tried to touch me again after that.” She frowned slightly and shrugged. “Well that and the fact I practiced a little blackmail of my own. Told him if he ever tried that again, I’d go to the police, to his commander, to NCIS and tell them everything. That I’d burn him and Sean to the ground if he didn’t keep his hands to himself.”
Tag’s forehead furrowed. He studied her face intently. “He never…”
Sarah shook her head. “No. He never. Whatever he told you was a lie. He was far more interested in protecting his business interests and punishing you than forcing himself on me. He never tried to touch me after that one time.”
Cocking his head, Tag took a step closer, studying her face intently. Was she lying? Too embarrassed to admit the truth, maybe even face the truth? But the eyes that held his were steady. Full of confidence and sincerity. There was no deception in her gaze. No shadow on her face.
She wasn’t lying.
The relief hit in a big whoosh, knocking the strength from his legs. Mitch hadn’t hurt her. At least not like that. He felt a thousand pounds lighter. Like an entire mountain had been lifted from his shoulders. The thought of Mitch forcing himself on Sarah had hollowed him out, like a swarm of piranhas shredding him from inside.
“And now that that’s cleared up,” Sarah said, her voice challenging, “let’s clear something else up as well. I enjoyed what took place on that bed before Lucas and your boss walked in. I enjoyed it a lot. I didn’t stop you because I didn’t want you to stop. I wanted more.”
Her face was peach again, but defiant.
She hadn’t wanted him to stop. Hell—she’d wanted more.
Her admission echoed through his head. Where that left them, however—he scowled. Nothing had changed between them. Not really. She’d still done what she’d done. And while he didn’t want to punish her for it, he couldn’t forget it either.
She’d put her brother’s and Tag’s welfare above thousands of soldiers’ lives.
Whatever she saw on his face shot another flare of pain into her eyes. Her boldness cracked. Her gaze fell to his chin, before dropping to the floor.
“For what it’s worth,” she finally said, staring at the ground, a pensive quality in her voice, “I never lost my feelings for you.”
Her confession caught him off guard. He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. While he obviously still had feelings for her, he didn’t think he could ever forgive her for the choices she’d made. It wasn’t fair to confess his love if he couldn’t get past her betrayal. His frustration and anger would poison any possibility of a future between them.
Sudden consternation flooded her face at his continued silence. She shot him a quick glance, before looking away again.
“I’m not trying to emotionally blackmail you. I’m not asking for things to go back the way they were before. I know that’s not possible. I know you haven’t forgiven me for not coming forward. I just…I just want you to understand.”
Pausing, she drew a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. “I know you’ve moved on. But for me, it’s like time stood still. It’s like those two years folded in on themselves and I stepped from your arms into this motel room with no time in between. Intellectually, I know that there are two long years between the day I sent you away, and right here, right now. But emotionally it feels like it happened yesterday.”
She scoffed softly, a lost look on her face. Introspection in her eyes. “I held onto my feelings for you with a death grip. Sometimes they were the only thing that got me through the day. So for me, those feelings are still there. They’ve never faded.” She shook her head, her red hair catching the light and shimmering like fire. The eyes she turned back to him were more gray than green and filled with shadows and grief. “But that’s on me, Brett. And eventually I’ll get over it. I’ll get over you.”
He stirred uneasily at that, her promise to get over him ripping through his chest and exploding in his heart. He hated the thought of her getting over him. Hated everything about it. Which was so fucking selfish. He didn’t want to torture her. She deserved happiness, a family to replace the one she’d lost. If he couldn’t give it