bother. I like it that you’re tall. Your body is perfect just the way it is. Every inch of you.”
“You haven’t seen every inch.”
“I will.”
“That all depends. What’s wrong with me?”
“You won’t get mad, will you?”
“I might get even.” He saw a shadow of worry in her eyes. “What is it, Dave?”
“I wouldn’t want you to be a coward. But…sometimes…like the way you went climbing up the damn Hurricane to help the guy they put up there. Like the way you went rushing off ahead of me to break up the fight. Like the way you’re so determined to go out on the boardwalk tonight. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to ever lose you.”
“You’re saying I got more guts than brains?”
“I don’t want to knock your brains. But less guts might be an improvement.”
“That’s sweet,” she said.
“I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you. I love you.”
“You love me?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“I love you too.”
“Heroes don’t last long, Joan. And I want you to last. I want you to be with me till we’re old and doddering.”
“So we can lean on each other,” she whispered.
“Right.”
“I’d like that.”
Thirty-six
When the telephone rang, Jeremy leapt from the sofa, saying, “I’ll get it.”
His mother looked up from her book only long enough to nod, then resumed reading.
He knew it was early for Tanya’s call. Without even looking at his wristwatch, he knew. He’d been horribly aware of the slow passage of time all afternoon, all evening. The minutes had crept by while he waited on the boardwalk for the banjo girl to join Nate. After his second call to Tanya and her promise to phone him at nine—and meet him later…just you and me—time had crawled at an even slower pace.
The call was half an hour early.
But it saved him an endless half-hour of agony.
He snatched up the handset of the wall phone in the kitchen. Though he was sure that his mother could hear nothing over the sounds of the television in the living room, he spoke softly. “Hi. Tanya?”
“Terrific.”
It wasn’t Tanya’s voice.
“Shiner?”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
“No, that’s okay.” His face felt burning. “It’s just…Tanya said she’d phone me about tonight. You know, the trolling.”
Shiner was silent for a few moments. “Is it on for tonight?”
“Well, I don’t know. That’s what she’ll be calling about.”
“I suppose you’re planning to go.”
“I haven’t decided yet.” He realized that it hurt somewhere deep inside, lying to her.
“Really?”
“What about you?” he asked.
“No way. I told you, I’m done with it. And I think you should quit too.”
“I’ve thought about it.”
“It’s going to hit the fan. It really is. Nate was right to quit when he did. I think we all should, but nobody’s going to listen to me. Except you, maybe. Do you still care about me, Jeremy?”
“Sure. Of course I do.”
“Honest?”
“Yeah.”
And that, he knew, was not a lie.
“What about Tanya?” she asked. He heard the pain in her voice.
“There’s nothing going on.”
“I saw her kiss you.”
“Well, she was drunk. So was I. It didn’t mean anything. She was kissing everybody last night after you left. I guess she was just grateful that we hadn’t quit on her, like Nate.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t like it.”
“I wish it had been you.”
More silence. Then she said, “I’m sure.”
“I mean it. She’s not…my type. You know? She’s weird.”
“I could’ve told you that.”
“I wanted to be with you after the party.”
“I wanted to be with you too. Until you kissed her.”
“She kissed me. It wasn’t my fault.”
“It really hurt. It hurt a lot. I mean, I know she’s gorgeous and she’s got every guy in the world drooling over her—not to mention Karen, for Godsake. But I thought…I thought you and I had something going, you know?”
“We did. We do. I really like you. When I figured out you’d left the party, it really messed me up. I left right away, myself. It took all the fun out. I couldn’t stay without you there. I felt so out of place. And, like, lonely all of a sudden.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I messed up so bad.”
“How did you get home?”
“I walked.”
“Oh, no. You walked? That’s miles. I figured somebody’d give you a lift.”
“After you left, I didn’t want anything to do with the rest of them.”
“It must’ve taken you all night.”
“Just a couple of hours.”
“God, I’m so sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have gone off that way. I felt rotten about it. But I had to, you know? I was awfully upset.”