you, but with everyone else he’s the same jerk? He hasn’t changed one bit.”
“It’s not true, he’s not like that.”
“Yes, he is,” Becky said.
“Becky…”
“It’s the Rubicon,” Sammy said.
“What?”
“It must be, Elena. Why else would he hang with you? Your dragon has a calming effect on my brother.”
“Then that’s good, right?”
“Good for who?” Becky left her two cent comment.
“Would you stop with that?” My face fell as I thought about Lucian. “It’s not like that.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you loved Lucian, but you have to move on someday.”
“Someday, when the right person comes along. But that’s not Blake Leaf.”
“Okay,” she consented and I left them to their show.
After dinner I met Tabitha behind one of the computers. Her white hair was taken up into a small ponytail. She’d been growing it lately and a fringe covered her ice-blue eyes. She really was gorgeous.
“Hey, thanks…”
“I did this for Blake, no one else.”
“Okay,” I said and pulled the chair next to her from under the table.
It was quiet for a while and then she stared at me.
“What?”
“You want me to suck your family names out of my thumb too?”
“Oh, sorry. I only have my father’s name. Herbert Watkins.”
“Is that his only name?”
I nodded.
“When was he born?”
“I don’t know the exact year as he could’ve been 400 years old, but the day was the 5th of February and he said in 1969”
She gave an impatient sigh and followed it with more as she asked more questions to which I didn’t know the answers.
Her fingers typed on the keys so fast that I couldn’t see what she was doing. All I knew was that it kept saying ‘0 results found’.
“This doesn’t make sense.”
“What?”
“It’s like your father never existed, Elena.”
“Maybe he didn’t have a life in Paegeia.”
She typed only his name and surname with a couple of other codes next to them and in three minutes pages and pages full of Herbert Watkins filled the screen.
“Go through them, if you find the right one, then I’ll try to find out more.”
She hit the print button on the screen as she got up and strode out of the library.
Six hundred and eight pages of Herbert Watkins and their images formed an impressive heap of paperwork to go through.
I took the entire pack and left to go up to my room.
Becky and Sammy couldn’t even help as they had no idea what Dad looked like and around twelve my eyes started to burn and we decided to call it a day.
Tomorrow we could search again, he must be in that pile somewhere. I would find out who Herbert Watkins was.
N SUNDAY, THE girls left with George and Dean around eleven. I didn’t want to go with as I would be just a fifth wheel and the fact that they’d asked me to come agitated me more than it should have. I even struggled to go on with my search.
For some reason I kept thinking about Blake. A longing to be near him made me even more frustrated because it was a feeling that didn’t make any sense.
I knew for a fact that I couldn’t have fallen for him. I promised him, and yet I couldn’t stop counting of the hours until I would see him again.
What about Lucian, what does this mean? Didn’t I care as much for him as I’d thought?
No, I didn’t believe that. I loved Lucian, but with Blake the feeling was similar to what I felt with Paul. It was messed up and confusing.
I shredded a couple of papers, and hatred filled my heart again as I thought about what Paul had done. How on earth could I have had feelings for him? We’d almost kissed. My mind went back to that day inside the cave. I’d spat in his face when he mentioned it and…I gasped.
We’d almost kissed, and Lucian had heard about it right before he died.
A darker feeling emerged and took complete hold of me. Images of a bed post breaking and carpet tearing came in flashes; clothes were next. My heart pounded inside my chest but at the same time what I felt was good. I felt satisfied and when I found the wall against my back, I slid down and sat on the ground. I buried my head inside my knees. Anger rose again.
How could I have been so stupid to think that I would have been able to hide my feelings for Paul from Lucian? How betrayed must he have felt? He’d died