years ago and never looked back. Josephine is dead. Who do you think we would have heard it from so quickly? A carjacking doesn’t exactly rate a nightly news slot in New Orleans.”
“Fine,” Carter said. “The problem isn’t the casserole. You stole a moped and boudin, blew up a dumpster, and assaulted a pig farmer.”
We all put on our blank faces.
“I once dated a pig farmer,” Nora said. “He grew the best weed. There was this one time we got in his best pigsty—”
Carter cringed.
“We don’t know anything about all that,” Ida Belle said, cutting Nora off. “We left the butcher shop and came straight to Nora’s. Been here for over an hour already.”
Gertie nodded and held up her hand. “See, I’m starting to prune.”
I struggled not to laugh because even with no water, Gertie’s fingers were starting to prune.
Carter looked over at Nora. “That true, Nora?”
“Heck yeah,” Nora said. “We’ve been drinking wine and I’ve been telling them all about my trip to Amsterdam. Brought some great drugs back with me. Didn’t even get caught in customs.”
Carter stared at her in dismay.
“Look,” I said. “I don’t know what happened at the butcher shop after we left—although it sounds like something we’d all like to hear—but it wasn’t our doing. Gertie’s been fighting a backache since she twisted around trying to get rid of that head last night and Ida Belle was complaining about her knee. I just like sitting in hot bubbly water and drinking. In fact, I’m seriously considering getting one of these.”
Carter threw his arms in the air, whirled around, and stalked off. I’m pretty sure he knew we were lying but with a witness that placed us in her hot tub while all the drama was going on at the butcher shop, there wasn’t much he could do.
“That was genius,” I said and clinked my glass against Ida Belle’s.
“I met a genius in Amsterdam,” Nora said. “He figured out how to get an awesome high from soybeans and plastic milk jugs.”
Chapter Six
By the time we made it out of Nora’s hot tub, we all needed a shower, some food to absorb all the alcohol, and a nap. Otherwise, we weren’t going to be in any shape for the festival that night and I intended to walk that maze this year as a customer since I wasn’t part of the scaring crew. Hopefully, it wouldn’t become another crime scene.
Ida Belle dropped me off at home and I trudged in and up the stairs. Lord knows, I’d already had my fill of hot water for the day, but I turned on the shower because the smell of chlorine combined with all the wine was about to knock me out. I did the whole wash the hair gig, wrapped it up in a towel, and pulled on one of Carter’s T-shirts and some underwear before heading for the kitchen. If anyone decided to drop by, they’d just have to wait for me to find pants.
I had some leftover hamburger patties from grilling with Carter a couple nights before so I popped a bun in the toaster and set a patty to heat in the microwave while I munched on potato chips. Soon, I was at the table with my burger and making notes on my laptop about the case. I’d gotten halfway through the meal and not quite that far into the notes when I heard my front door open and Carter call out.
“Don’t shoot,” he yelled.
“Are you coming to arrest me?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then I won’t shoot.”
I closed my laptop and a couple seconds later, he walked into the kitchen and took a seat across from me. He eyed my burger, then gave me a once-over.
“You look half asleep,” he said. “Too much assaulting ranchers today? Or were you the alien on the moped?”
“Too much wine and even more of Nora’s conversation combined with the hot tub,” I said and hopped up from my seat.
I ran into my office to retrieve some papers off my printer and handed them to Carter.
“See?” I said. “I’ve been doing some research.”
He flipped through the papers, frowning. “These are all sales ads for hot tubs. You were serious about that?”
“Heck yeah. I feel like I had a deep tissue massage all over my body but no one had to touch me to get it.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know why you continue to surprise me, but you do.”
“Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t love a sit in a hot tub after a day