“You aren’t going to tell anyone I said that, are you?” I ask.
“Not if you don’t want me to.”
“Good. I don’t. You can’t.”
“I get it, Matt. Should we sit down?”
“Yeah.”
We both sit down on the park bench. I keep a comfortable amount of space between us.
“You know,” he says. “If you need to frisk me, you could. But I promise I’m not wearing a wire.”
I blink.
“Sorry, that sounded way more sexual than I meant it to.”
“No. I think it’s a good idea. Can you, please?”
“Sure.”
He quickly unbuttons his shirt, and then opens it. His chest is totally smooth.
“Thanks,” I say as he buttons it back up. “This is weird.”
“What, me stripping in public?”
“No. Just being here, with you. Your mom’s a cop.”
“Yeah.”
“Is your dad a cop, too?”
“Nah, he’s in software. Cops don’t make mansion money.”
“Right. So what happened with you, after…”
He lets out a puff of air. “Well, Mom lost her shit. She knew how close I was to finally cracking you. The only thing she wants to do is take down your family, and I blew it.”
“Did she take away your trust?”
“Yeah. And my college fund. I’m hoping Dad might be able to get her to change her mind about that. Maybe I’ll get a scholarship, but if not, my college plans are, well, I don’t really have college plans. I was betting on that trust, honestly.”
“You’re smart; you’ll find a way, with or without it.”
He smiles. “So what do you need?”
“Advice.”
“About what?”
“Well, some things are going down with my family and the Donovans. People’s lives are in danger. And I can’t sit by and let it happen anymore. I need to stop it. But I can’t think of anything I can do to stop them. They’re too powerful.”
“Okay.”
I wait. I’m hoping he’ll have some idea that’ll fix this whole mess.
“So what do you want to do?” he asks.
“Stop the war. Prevent any further bloodshed. Keep my brother and my dad safe.”
“That’s a lot.”
“I know. That’s why I need your help.”
He thinks about it for a while.
“I don’t think you can do anything,” he says.
“Not good enough. There has to be something I can do. I can’t just let them do this.”
“I know it’s hard. Trust me, I know.”
“You stood up to your parents, though.”
“I did. For so long I tried so hard to bend myself into someone okay with what she wanted from me. I’ve spent hours at baseball because it’s what she wants. She thinks it’s the mark of a successful young man.”
“I know,” I say. “I think it’s why we get along so well.”
“Yeah. But that’s the thing. I’ve stopped. After I told her I couldn’t follow through with the scheme, something flipped. It’s like, I realized I don’t actually have to do everything she says. I can live my own life. You could do the same thing.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you should tell them you quit. You can’t stop them, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a part of it.”
I’ve never thought about it this way. Instead of changing them … I could change my destiny. I could stop putting up with this life.
I could tap out.
“My dad wouldn’t let me,” I say. “There’s no way.”
“Then don’t ask him. Just tell him what you’re doing.”
“I can’t. He’s … he’s someone who always gets his way.”
“Would he really go against his own son? I thought family was everything?”
“It is, but only if you play by the rules. He has expectations of me. I’m not who he wants me to be, but it doesn’t matter. He’s going to keep pushing me to live up to being his son.”
“That’s an assumption. Have you ever told him that you’re unhappy?”
“No.”
“Then maybe that’s worth a shot.”
“But what about everything that’s going on? People are in danger. I can’t just walk away from them. I can’t let my family kill people.”
“Sure you can.”
“How? What kind of person would do that?”
“Matt, you don’t need to be the one who solves this problem. Leave it to people who signed up for it, people like my mom. You never asked to be born into your family. Seriously, man, you don’t need to be the one responsible for stopping them.”
I see it now. But can I really let myself off the hook?
I have no idea how my father will react if I tell him what’s going on with