take my pants off?”
“I mean, yes. But before that, you need to know something.”
I sit up. “Oh, okay. What?”
He looks nervous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him nervous. It’s painfully endearing.
“This, um, it’s more than a friends-with-benefits thing for me. I think it always has been.”
Oh. Wow.
I mean, it is for me, too. But there’s a big difference between feeling it and saying it.
“But…,” I start.
“You don’t need to say if you like me back,” he says. “It’s okay if you don’t.”
“Dude,” I say, and then I gesture at my current predicament. I’m shirtless in the middle of a baseball field, and he’s sitting on top of me. How can he doubt how I feel about him? “I obviously like you as more than a normal friend.”
“But we’re on opposite sides,” he says. “You said that, remember?”
I want to tell him everything I’m feeling.
But I can’t.
He’s a Donovan.
Things between us have to end at some point. There’s no future where we’ll be allowed to be together. We’re always going to be who we are, and our families are always going to be our families.
But I’m not strong enough to turn down this wonderful boy.
And I owe him the truth. That’s always been our thing.
“I know what I said before. But it’s more than a friends-with-benefits thing for me, too.”
He smiles. “Sweet.”
It makes me so happy I think maybe it’s too late. I don’t know how it works. But I might already kind of love him.
Oh boy.
This is bad.
So freaking bad.
“How about we go on a date, then?” he asks. “I have something in mind, actually.”
“Do you, now?”
He nods and then kisses me in the middle of my forehead. “Next time we hang out, it’ll be a date, if that’s okay with you?”
“It’s more than okay,” I say. “It’s, like … so exciting.”
“I’m glad you think that.”
He puts his hand on my face, and rubs my cheek with his thumb. I need to shave, because it feels a little prickly.
“What made you decide?” he asks.
“I guess … I can’t help myself around you.”
“I can’t help myself around you, either.”
It feels so perfect. Maybe too perfect.
What about the Friend Scheme? And why we met in the first place?
What if he’s still manipulating me?
It’s as if he knows what I’m thinking, because he leans down and kisses me hard.
My doubts fade away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I’m in a shipping container, shirtless, cuffed to a metal chair.
It’s cold. My arms and legs are bound to it with thick leather straps, so I can’t really move. I pull against my bonds, but they’re too tight.
I can’t move. I’m helpless. Utterly at the mercy of …
Vince.
He’s standing in front of me, with a too-big grin on his face. He’s holding his switchblade, and he keeps opening and closing it. The container is dark, so the paleness of his skin really stands out.
He’s my uncle.
And he’s about to torture me.
I doubt he’s going to show me any mercy. Actually, he might even be more vicious with me, because I betrayed my family.
His family.
I need to outsmart him. What he wants is for me to give up Jason. To tell him his identity, and for me to tell him everything we’ve been doing. I can’t do that, though. I know what’ll happen if I do.
He’ll kill me, and then Jason.
“I won’t talk,” I say, trying to sound as stoic as I can. I splay my hands, as they’re starting to cramp.
“You will,” he says as he circles me. “Everyone knows how weak you are, Little Matty.”
“That’s just a rumor. You’ll see.”
“I almost hope that’s true.” He leans in close, so he’s whispering in my ear. “You might be a traitor, but I hope you aren’t a coward as well.”
I straighten up and stare him down.
“Just get on with it, then.”
I don’t know where this bravery is coming from.
I guess it’s because Jason’s life is on the line. I can’t let anyone hurt him.
“Okay, then,” he says. “Let’s start. Tell me who you’ve been spending time with.”
Vince runs the blade along my skin, walking in a circle around me. There’s not enough pressure on it to cut, but I know that’s coming very soon.
I start hyperventilating.
As much as I want to be brave and not give him any satisfaction, I know he’s about to badly hurt me. Right now he’s just playing with me. But soon, I’ll feel the real thing.
“Just a friend,” I say. “That’s all we are, I swear.”
I only just manage to say it, because I’m shaking so