though of course, I never met him.’ She was beginning to wish she hadn’t brought him up here: he was far too perceptive for comfort. She replaced the pictures against the wall and pulled out others: fenland scenes, water and skyscapes, a kingfisher diving, a village fete, an old pleasure boat sinking at its moorings, colourfully clad golfers on the fairway. He commented on them all, not eulogistically, but fairly, until he came to a miniature she had done of Jay-Jay before starting on the large one. He picked it up and ran his hands gently over the child’s face. ‘Can I keep this one?’
‘Why?’
‘To remind me of Barbara Bosgrove, who has never, in fifteen years, left my thoughts for long and never been absent from my heart.’
He knew the truth, but he would not speak of it openly. She knew, without his saying so, that if she wanted to talk to him about Jay-Jay, then he would listen, but until she did his lips were sealed. ‘Simon, please don’t,’ she said.
‘May I have it?’
She nodded and he popped it into his pocket and strolled across the room to the gramophone. ‘You like to listen to music while you work?’
‘It helps my mood sometimes.’
He slipped a record onto the turntable and wound it up. The soft strains of ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ filled the room. It had been playing the night of Penny’s party, the night she ran away from him, too afraid to confront the truth. She had been running ever since. She shook herself, realising he had spoken. ‘Do you remember that?’
‘Yes.’
He turned to face her, putting his right arm round her waist, taking her right hand in his left and holding it against his heart. Slowly he began to move to the music. Mesmerised, she allowed it to happen, did nothing to stop what she knew must follow. She shut her eyes and held her breath, and when his mouth came down on hers, she was not surprised. Sweet and gentle, the kiss went on for a long time, while the music continued to play and they swayed together to its beat. He stopped and held her close against him, murmuring in her ear, ‘Oh, Barbara, my love, my dearest love—’
‘Simon, don’t.’ She tried to sound firm, but it was only an unconvincing whisper.
He pulled her towards him and bent his head to kiss her again. She clung to him, mouth on mouth, body against body, felt the heat of him permeating her whole body. In another minute they would be ripping the clothes off each other. It must not happen again, not even knowing that George had a new love. She laughed shakily and slipped sideways away from him and started back down the stairs before she could disgrace herself. ‘I think it’s time for you to go.’
He trailed after her. ‘I am dismissed?’
‘Afraid so.’ She said it lightly, but it took all her strength to say it.
‘I love you.’
‘Don’t, Simon, please don’t.’
‘Why not? It’s the truth. You fill all my thoughts, every waking moment, even when we don’t see each other for years.’ He smiled and reached for her hand. ‘You come to me in my dreams and even when I’m not asleep. I know you feel the same. Why deny it?’
‘Because I must.’
‘OK, I’ll go. But think about this: I read the newspapers and there’s no smoke without fire and I can guess what it’s doing to you. When it all blows up and you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be waiting.’
‘Oh, Simon.’ She blinked back tears but they refused to be contained and began to tumble down her cheeks. He pulled her towards him and bent his head to kiss her again. It was meant to be a gentle kiss, a comforting kiss, something to take away with him, but he found himself putting all his pent-up emotion and frustration into it.
‘Mum, we’re all gasping for a cuppa—’ Alison stopped abruptly and stood gaping at them.
They sprang apart but the guilt on their faces was enough to confirm the nature of the kiss she had witnessed. ‘Mum, how could you? How could you be so…so…’
‘Alison, darling, it was nothing…’ Barbara began, but her daughter had fled past them and out of the room, too angry even for tears.
‘Alison, what’s the matter?’ George appeared in the kitchen doorway, knocking snow off his boots.
‘Ask Mum,’ she shouted back. ‘Ask her what she and that man were up to.’ A reverberating bang told