as he drew a breath. He seemed angry but—but it wasn't anger behind his eyes.
"Why, Matthew?" I asked, driving my fingertips into his soft tissue the way he liked.
He looped his arm around my waist, gifting me with a deep squeeze. "You're beautiful," he replied, his lips on my temple. "That's all I meant. You're so fucking beautiful it hurts."
That was it. That was it. This was ending right here, right now. No conversation needed. Just action.
"Set Maddie down," I ordered. "Put her on the floor with the quilt or in her bassinet. She's not going anywhere, she doesn't even roll over yet. Just come help me in the closet for a minute."
Matthew hit me with a furrowed eyebrow. "You want me to help you. In the closet."
I stepped back, held up my hands. "This is not one of those times when we have an elaborate conversation," I replied. "Put the baby down and get in the damn closet."
"Yeah. You got it. All right, okay," he muttered to himself.
I didn't stick around to watch, instead marching straight into our walk-in closet. I traveled the distance of that narrow room, my hands on my hips and my elbows brushing the precise line of Matthew's starched dress shirts as I went. If I kept moving, I'd keep my nerve but if I stopped, I was stopping. I'd lose my steam and let it all go because it was too easy to believe I'd changed, we'd changed, everything had changed, and we'd never be the same again.
Since I wasn't interested in bidding farewell to this moment, I continued pacing even when he stepped inside.
"What—what is happening here?" He caught my hand, whirled me around, and tugged me into his arms. "What's going on?"
And that was when I attacked him. I backed him against the full-length mirror, tore his belt right off, and dropped his zipper as my knees hit the floor. "I'm doing something I've been thinking about for months." I blew out a breath and yanked his jeans and boxers down. His hard cock sprang free. I glanced at his length and then up at him. "Please don't pretend it hasn't crossed your mind."
"Lauren, get up," he said, reaching for me.
I batted his hands away. "Say it, Matthew. Tell me you don't want me to suck your cock right now. Say it and then I'll get up."
He stared at me with the same stony eyes and harsh twist to his lips he gave me not more than two minutes ago. His hands curled into fists, his breathing quickened.
"Say it," I repeated, running my palms up his legs, back down again. My thumbs brushed his inner thighs, the tender spots around his base. "Say you don't want this. Say you don't want me. Say it and I'll stop."
I treated him to another minute of teasing while his erection bobbed between us. "Of course I want you," he said with a rough whisper. "Of course I—oh, fuck."
His words vanished when I took him into my mouth. I kept my fingers wrapped around his base as I stroked him with my tongue. He tasted perfect. Like he always did but somehow better because it'd been so long and I missed him so much.
"This," Matthew started, the word fuzzy, as if he'd spoken it while asleep, "will be over quickly."
"Mmhmm," I murmured around him.
His head banged back against the mirror. He growled, he swore, he babbled incoherently.
Yeah, I knew what I was doing.
Then my mother showed up. "What is going on in here?" she cooed. It took me a second to realize she was using that tone because she was speaking to Madeleine. "Lolo? Are you in the bathroom, honey? I won't interrupt you. I know how you are about privacy."
One time. One time I'd asked her to stop inviting herself into the bathroom to carry on a conversation while I used the facilities. Now, I was the one with the privacy issues.
"Lauren, Lauren. Sweetness. Lauren, your mother's in the bedroom," Matthew whispered. He cupped his hand around my chin but I didn't stop sucking. He traced his thumb around my lips. "Fuck. Fuck, sweetness. Your mother cannot see this."
I leaned back on my heels, slowly dragging my tongue over the underside of him. "Then tell her we'll be out in a minute."
"Lolo?" my mother called. "Honey, I promise I won't go in there but I think Madeleine's ready to eat again. She's making that angry-hungry face. Do you want me to give her a bottle?"
"Lauren,"