girl she used to be. Uncle Rome suggested she might be suffering from PTSD because he’d seen similar characteristics in his fellow soldiers. Whatever was wrong with her, I felt it wasn’t going to get better if I kept coddling her and caving to her wishes just so I wouldn’t upset her. I felt like I’d been walking on eggshells whenever we got together lately.
The same was true with my friends from the team and my former schoolmates. It was like they had no idea what to do with me now that I didn’t play football and had no claim to fame. Even Zowen was acting a bit weird. Bowe told me he’d been the last to show at the hospital after the accident, and when Remy pressed him to know what took him so long to get there, he shut down and acted sullen. He refused to answer about where he was and what he’d been up to, and ever since I’d woken up, he’d been evasive and weird whenever I tried to talk to him. It was almost like everyone I loved needed a bit of a breather, and they would get that was if I was no longer in their face as a constant reminder of what could’ve gone wrong that night.
“But Bowe is always on the road. I don’t get you moving down there and being alone anyway because she’s jetting off to play music in Nashville or God knows where else.” My dad flicked his head to the tombstone and sighed. “I just hate the idea of you being so far away if something goes wrong.”
Bowe had actually just gotten back to Austin after attending an up-and-coming artist showcase in Nashville. She was traveling quite a bit, but she always checked in with me, and when she got a stretch where she knew she was going to be home, she always tried to come and see me or invited me down to stay with her. I thought it was good practice for how we would manage our relationship once she was famous, because without a doubt she would be. That was another reason it didn’t bother me that I would be several hundred miles away from her, rather than in her back pocket.
“I miss my girl, but I still gotta focus on school and making a life for myself. It’s good for us to have a bit of space between us so we can do what we gotta do individually without getting in each other’s way. I can handle having her down the highway. But I can’t stand when she’s entire states away. I want to be there as her music career keeps growing, and just like you said, I want to be there if anything goes wrong.” I reached out and put a hand on the icy cold stone. “And if I need anything, Bowe’s folks are close by, and so are Rowdy and Salem. You and mom worked hard to keep Daire and me surrounded by good, reliable people. I’m never going to be alone with all of them and with you and Mom in my life. It’ll be okay, Dad.” I knocked my knuckles on the headstone and sent a silent goodbye up to the person who helped make me who I was and who helped me grab onto the life I was getting ready to live to the fullest. “When I was on the operating table, I swear I saw Uncle Remy. I’m sure it was a hallucination, but he seemed so real, and everything he said to me in that moment was exactly what I needed to hear. I felt like I was dying, but he wouldn’t let me give up that easily. He told me it was his job to make sure he didn’t see any of the people he loved before it was their time.” I stepped back and put my hands in the pockets of my leather and shearling jacket. “I’ve got people looking out for me every step of the way.”
My dad kicked his booted foot across a patch of snow and heaved a deep sigh. “You and your Uncle Rome should share stories. He said something similar happened to him last time he was seriously injured. It might be a bit more than a hallucination, kiddo.” He looked up at me and said, “Guess I gotta let you grow up eventually. Hate to see you go, but you know you always have a place back