to you now that the old flame got fanned one mo' time. My poor damned brother, Jose, is helpless, not knowing exactly what went down and quietly praying it wasn't his worst fear... doesn't want to deal with even thinking about what mighta happened when the Devil's spawn was in you and his woman was by herself for too long. Hurt him, and I'll kick your ass for it!"
"Damali, do you hear yourself?" Carlos said, looking at her without blinking. "You're talking about kicking my ass over Jose... after what I haven't spoken on between y'all?" He walked toward her slowly, the threat in his stance implicit. "Now I know you done lost your mind."
Damali let her breath out hard as new tears rose to her eyes and her voice faltered. She lifted her chin, seeming not the least bit concerned about his outrage.
"Jose looks at me so hurt sometimes, Carlos, because he knows I have fierce second-sight, with a question in his eyes every time I see him, a question that says, 'D, we're tight, family, you would tell me if you knew, wouldn't you?' And I have to look away from those innocent eyes and play it off. I know in my soul that every time Juanita makes love to him she's still thinking about you! Jose's subconscious can feel it, too."
"Naw, Damali," Carlos said, dragging his fingers through his hair and shaking his head. "That's you projecting your own stuff onto them." He stared at her. "But if you think I need to talk to the brother that can be arranged. I'm tired of this bullshit anyway. Let's just clean house, say what's gotta be said, get everybody clear about--"
"Just stop it," she ordered, more tears coursing as she spoke. "When the two of you are in the same room--"
"Who, D? Me and Jose?" He walked in an agitated circle of disbelief.
"You and Juanita! Don't play me, Carlos. Shabazz bristles like an electric shock is running through him every time you two are in proximity--even though he never saw it! While you were apexing, I had to get you out of the compound! We couldn't even go over there to eat with everybody. The magnetic draw to you was too strong, woulda opened her memory banks, the sensuality oozing off of your ass was that bad. Freakin' Marlene just calmly shut down her third eye and is in denial, hoping this will fade back into the darkness from whence it came. I'm a tactical, and I can feel it all! Fuck you for this, Carlos. I need my space to get my head together, now that your apex rush is out of my system."
"So, the time you spent with me was purely carnal? Just because of my Neteru apex? Didn't have nothing to do with how much we love each other? Didn't have anything to do with the fact that I could forgive what freaked you out and sent you onto the damned beach and into Jose's arms for a minute?" Carlos folded his arms over his chest. "I was possessed; you weren't. I could understand and forgive that old emotions had been brewing for a long and quiet time, ran hot while your head was messed up and--" "And I didn't blow him... when he probably needed me to do that in the worst kinda way... after all those years, like you said. Don't change the subject and play with me this morning."
She folded her arms. He looked away.
"He respected you. I respected you. Both of us always have." She shrugged. "It was a kiss. Yes. We were both infected. Yes. But even with old vibes, even with all the drama of woulda, coulda, possibly shoulda-- it stopped there. Can you say the same thing?"
"That was different, Damali, and you know it. That hurt, too, because I know down deep the man loves you, and there's a part of you that loves him--always will. So a kiss meant way more than what went down during a demon possession moment. Be honest. If, with all that inside of either one of you, had you taken a tumble in a dark throne--the main one--it coulda happened. Don't act like you're so above it. So, I'ma ask you again... wasn't there anything to your staying with me these past weeks more than just an apex?" His eyes silently searched her for affirmation.
She looked away. "What did how much I love you mean when whatever you resented about me went