of what she was saying, he knew in his soul, was the stone-cold truth. But he also knew what he'd just seen. There was black smoke. Yet for the moment, words failed him.
She stopped pacing and looked at him hard and folded her arms over her chest, breathing in hot bursts as another fury spike jolted her system. "You know that's how it would go down if the shoe were on the other foot--that's why nary a female in the house--or on the planet for that matter--can just have a lapse without having to seriously think about the chain-reaction consequences to her relationship! A woman can't just claim to have been under the influence, possessed, or whatever! But a man? Sheeit. He's a man and prone to go there anyway by nature, right! A little demon topspin to make the offense allowable; a sistah should have a heart and understand, right?"
"Baby--"
"Save it!" Her arm snapped away from her body as she pointed at him so hard that her hand shook. "Women from fifteen to well beyond fifty, like Marlene, and Marj, and Tara, as well as Krissy, all know, don't even think about going there under any circumstances, unless you want your entire world to change--even if your man has taken a walk on the wild side for whatever reason! They didn't even forgive Eve--and that sister had encountered the fucking Duke of Darkness... but noooo.... She was wrong. She lost her career, position, powers, all sorts of jacked-up shit--they talked about her bad for one lapse, blamed her for misjudgment for centuries, and if you'd ever met her, she's the most refined, regal, def-defying lady I know! Girlfriend is awesome. But if it had been Adam, they would have said, 'Oh, he's a man--go in peace my son. You couldn't help yourself, you were possessed, tricked, lured.' Whateva, Carlos. So don't sweat me about having days or nights like this. So fuck fair--it ain't fair-- and today I ain't feeling reasonable, understanding, or fair, hear me!"
"I'd forgive you, Damali," he said quietly. He didn't know what else to say. Even in her fury, her logic was indisputable, which really worried him. "Under those circumstances, if something stronger than you'd ever run up against got into your system, I'd have to suck it up and let it go." She scowled at him and nodded. "I suppose you would," she said with a sarcastic bite. "Yeah, if you got to play the hero and save me from myself. Then your paradigm of innocent, helpless female versus the seductive monster that took my mind would hold up and you could live with that. Right," she said, nodding and rubbing her jaw like a man to rub her words into his open wound. "Sho' you right, man. Blow the motherfucker up, if it was on yo' woman. But if she was kinda sorta turned on and curious, then she's a whore. Right?"
She walked to the window and gave him her back, rolling her shoulders like a guy about to mix it up for a bar brawl. "I was raised by brothers; know how y'all think. Seen it in the house. It goes like this--if it was a dark entity and you got a chance to lop off its head, then cool. That would be different. Like a Fallon Nuit--type of thang."
Not waiting for him to respond, she spun on him when she heard him draw a breath to speak. "So, I guess the real problem I'm having is just pent-up aggression. I need to chill, right? Suck it up and let it go. Is that it? 'Cause I can't just cut off Juanita's head to make myself feel better, can I? The supposed one who did that was you or looked like you-- and you got to kill it, not me, remember? It'll be all in my face, daily, once the team gets back to business. The only thing saving my sanity is the fact that the poor woman doesn't know and doesn't remember... but she feels it. Why?"
"Damali, baby, I'm begging you--"
"She still feels it because there's something still there for her subconscious to nurse and work with--within both of you! That didn't die. Never will. It's in every glance. You looking at her, hoping she doesn't recall it and wanting to protect her from sudden, brutal knowledge-- because you defiled her and still love her down deep; her looking at you feeling a burn she can't explain... and she's more attached