residential area and an alley with our escorts close behind. I didn't want them to see where we were going until it was too late.
"Where are we going?"
"He has a little business nearby. They're closed now, but he'll still be there with the computer."
"What's this asshole's name?"
"Joe."
"If he makes any trouble, we'll cook his ass."
"I understand. Hey, you're the man with the gun."
"Remember it."
I turned down the alley behind the row of stores where Joe Pike has his business and pulled into the delivery spot directly outside the back door. Joe's gleaming red Jeep was to my left and a highly polished Chevy truck was to the right. The white Toyota pulled up behind us, blocking me in. A small gray peephole stared out at us from the door.
"Okay," I said. "This is it."
He glanced at the door. A sign hung above it saying:
FIREARMS
ARMED RESPONSE UNNECESSARY
"What the fuck, a gun store?"
"Yeah, this is his. He has several businesses."
I tapped the horn twice, and the man with the bag lurched, jerking the bag up toward me.
"Fuckin' asshole! What the fuck?"
"Take it easy. He won't answer the door after business hours. I have to let him know to come to the back. C'mon, you want to get the computer or not?"
I waited with my hands in place until he waved with the bag for me to get out. I got out my side as he got out his, and then we went to the door. I stood at the door, but he stood to the side so if anyone looked out the peephole they couldn't see him. Pike had made the same positioning move when we went to see Golden.
I said, "Okay to knock?"
"Hurry up, fuckin' knock."
"You've done things like this before?"
"Knock, asshole."
He knocked for me. He pounded hard on the door three times with his free hand-BOOMBOOMBOOM-while he kept the bag trained on me with the other. On the third boom, Joe Pike raised up behind him as if he were rising from the earth. Pike pushed the bag straight up in the air while twisting the bag hand to the outside farther than it was ever meant to twist. Then Pike pushed him over and down face-first into the Chevy truck's fender. It sounded like a cantaloupe dropped from the roof. The two men who work at Pike's shop had the clowns from the Toyota proned out on the ground. Both men had black Sig.45s, and both men could clear the LAPD Combat Shooting Range in competition-level times. Both men had.
I picked up the bag, and showed Pike what I found. A nifty little.38 snub-nose.
I said, "Golden."
Pike said, "Uhn."
Pike peeled his boy off the truck, then turned him toward me. His face was a mess. He was trying to cradle his broken arm, but Pike still had it. I squatted so we could see eye to eye, and now his tough eyes looked scared.
"What's your name?"
"Rick."
"Okay, Rick. These men are professionals. You're just some asshole. You understand the word?"
He nodded. I think he was trying not to cry.
"What was supposed to happen after you had the computer? You supposed to call, just bring it over, what?"
"Call."
"He's waiting to hear from you?"
"Yeah."
"Let him call, Joe."
We found a silver Samsung in Rick's pocket and let him speed-dial Golden. He got a signal and a ring right away. Everyone gets a signal but me.
When Golden answered, I took the phone.
"You cover these guys' health insurance?"
"Who is this?"
"Two of these idiots are tied up on the ground, and Rick has a broken arm. I think his nose is broken, too. Do I need to come see you about this?"
He understood who I was. Silence filled the phone as he thought it through.
"You said you'd give back my computer."
"After the girls cooperate with the police and their stories check out. When I'm satisfied that everyone has been straight, you'll get it back."
"I'm out of business without the computer."
"Live with it. Stephen, you could be punished for this. Do you understand that?"
"I understand."
"What would Detective Pardy do if he knew you sent these turds to assault me?"
"They weren't supposed to assault you. They were supposed to get the computer."
"They didn't get it."
"I'm losing money without that computer. Look, you want a few bucks? I'll buy it back from you. How much you want?"
I shut the phone, and shook my head. Amazing.
Pike said, "What do you want to do?"
We took their guns, their photographs, and their driver's licenses, and then we let them go. When they were