she knows it-but have you ever considered that girlfriend might be scared?"
Carlos looked at him.
"Yeah, that's right. Scared. I said it. Everything around her is changing, the people she could depend on are nuttin' up. Rider almost bought it, and they took her security blanket, her blades, man. You think she rubbed your nose in it back there in front of the newbies, hell... I know Damali. When she came back without her blades, dressed down by the Queen's Council, girlfriend ain't been right ever since. Her confidence is as raggedy as a bowl of yock. Plus, now, the clock is ticking on something that could present itself as her demon child. She's wigging, rightfully so. She ain't got no diplomacy left in her. Damali is about motion, right through here, and trying to minimize casualties-you being one of the primary ones."
"I didn't like the way she was all up in my face, though, man." Carlos raked his fingers through his hair and let his breath out hard. "Down in the subway tunnel, I just had a few seconds to think. I was worried that maybe I try this transport thing, that's still a little new, and what if it messed up, landed us in a hot zone, or I dropped somebody? Yonnie's ass was sweating me and-"
"For two seconds," Shabazz said, looking him in the eyes, "you got scared." When Carlos looked away, he placed his hand on his shoulder. "This is me and you talking, nobody else on the team-not even Marlene who I sleep with. Man to man, let's be real, this shit is really fuckin' scary."
Carlos looked up at him and nodded grudgingly.
"It's like having a new car with all these new gadgets on it and having to do a high-speed chase to get away from the cops."
Carlos chuckled with Shabazz.
"C'mon, man, give yourself a break. You can do a lot of the same shit, just in a different way, and your ass is used to being so smooth that what's making you mad is that you don't want to break it out until you know how to use it to the bone. I can dig it, that's a man thing-I understand."
Carlos pounded Shabazz's fist and they smiled.
"Plus, you being a Scorp-y'all are secretive and sly any ole way, dead or alive, and not to be feelin' in total control-to y'all-is a fate worse than death."
"No, lie..." Carlos said, letting his breath put hard.
"You're a brother with a lot on his mind," Shabazz said, slinging an arm over Carlos's shoulder and walking him back toward the building. "Been there, ask an old dog how this goes. Your people just crossed over and you ain't even there to bury them proper, you just got out of jail-so to speak, your powers changed, all your friends are either dead or new, your woman is kickin' up the bo bo, your money jacked-that right there would make the average brother intolerable. You've got this new job that you wanna do right, because it's all you got and she's sweatin' you about it. Then, your boy is all messed around by a woman he won by default... your other boy is ready to jump off the bridge down the street and you just got pulled into this very wild family that you didn't bargain for. You're in temporary housing that ain't secure or like your old spot, in a brand-new neighborhood-'cause you had to leave all the old people, places, and things in a cosmic twelve-step program, with counselors breathing down your neck, just waiting for you to go back to your old ways... and there's times when the old life seemed so much easier, simplistic, despite all the bad-because you knew that game like the back of your hand. Meanwhile, your body is going through changes because you're about to apex. Sound familiar?"
"It's a lot, all at one time." Carlos said quietly as he stopped walking. "It's total fucking chaos."
Shabazz laughed. "Welcome to married life, my brother." Shabazz shook his head and walked ahead of Carlos. "And y'all wanted a baby right now, too. Madness."
WHEN CARLOS walked back into the ragged warehouse, all eyes were on him. Shabazz monitored the vibe as Damali cut a glare at both of them, but saved the most lethal portion of it for Carlos.
"Since you wanted to step outside," Carlos said evenly, "let's do that."
Stricken glances passed around the group.
Damali flung down the bowie knife and it lodged in the earth with a