Flawed Heart: House Of Obsidian - Bella Jewel Page 0,34
“Fuck me, I don’t know why the hell I came back here. What did I honestly expect from you?”
“You can’t possibly mean that,” I say, my voice trembling. “Jesus, Max, do you honestly think I would just forget everything you did to me?”
“Because you’re so fucking perfect, aren’t you?” he roars.
I take a shocked step back. His voice is loud and terrifying.
“I did what I had to do . . .”
“No.” He laughs bitterly. “You gave up on your husband and hid his child from him.”
His words shock me so much I just stand there, speechless.
“Yeah,” he grunts. “But you’re so fucking perfect aren’t you, Blue Belle?”
“You told me you didn’t love me . . . you were drinking and gambling and you shut down . . .”
“Because I was suffering,” he roars, spinning and slamming his fist into my lamp. It goes soaring across the room. “I was fucking dying inside.”
“And you wouldn’t talk to me!” I scream. “Jesus, Max, you wouldn’t tell me what was happening, you just kept on pushing me away.”
“And you were supposed to be my wife,” he says and his voice, his strong beautiful voice, cracks. “Through better and worse, right? I was dying inside, but you didn’t want to stay by my side. I knew what I did was wrong, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I was broken and didn’t even know who I was most days, but I thought . . .”
I start to cry and he watches the tears slide down my cheeks.
“I thought you’d fight with me, but you just gave up. You just left.”
“I found out I was pregnant.” I sob. “The night you told me you didn’t love me anymore, I found out, and I couldn’t take it. It wasn’t fair.”
Before he can answer, there’s a pounding on the door.
“Open up, Belle!”
Shit. It’s Tyke.
I reach down and grab my clothes, jerking them on. Max doesn’t move—he just stands there, jeans on but unbuttoned, staring at me. I walk to the door and swing it open to see Tyke and Pippa staring in.
“Everything okay in here?” Tyke asks.
“It’s f-f-f-fine,” I manage through my tears.
“No, it’s not. You two need to separate,” he orders.
Max grabs his shirt, muttering, “Fucking fine by me.”
He walks to the door and I call out his name, my voice so weak it’s barely a whisper. He looks back at me as he shoves past Tyke. “Did you ever think telling me about that baby might have been what saved me?”
My heart breaks open.
“No, you didn’t, because you had already given up on me.”
Then he leaves.
I fall to my knees and sob.
~*~*~*~
“Higher, Mommy!”
I push the swing higher, smiling as my daughter squeals happily.
I brought her out today to try and take my mind off the awful person I was last night. I’ve picked up my phone so many times, wanting to talk to Max, wanting to explain, but having no idea how. I hurt him; I’ve not seen him hurt like that since the night his whole world changed. He’s right, and that hurts more than anything. I promised him I’d always be there for him, no matter what, and the moment it got hard I ran.
I’m a damned fool, and not for a second did I stop and think about my part in our marriage breaking up.
“Let’s go to the slide,” Immy cries when the swing stops.
“Okay, baby.”
I follow her over and spend the next hour playing catch with her. By the time we’re done, I’m exhausted. We get ice cream and then head back home, so she can have a nap.
The moment she’s down, I start thinking about my next move. I need to talk to Max, for real, not just a yelling match. I need answers. I need to know what happened that night. I need to know what the hell went wrong.
“Hey.”
I look up from my spot on the sofa and see Pippa leaning against the wall.
“Hey, Pip.” I force a smile.
She walks in and sits down beside me. “How are you feeling?”
“You mean after I had a screaming match with my husband last night?”
She nods. “Yeah. You were so upset. I’ve been so worried.”
“I screwed up big time, Pip. I hurt him, and I didn’t even realize I had been doing it.”
“I heard a fair bit of what was said; it was hard to miss. How did what he said make you feel?”
I cross my legs and stare down at my hands. “Like a damned fool. He’s right; I ran when