regular basis.”
He nodded.
“Because you need to do that too, to travel and go on tour and do all the things you’re supposed to, and be young and wild and crazy but not get lost in the undertow again.”
“So partying after a show, but maybe ending the night with chamomile tea and going to bed instead of getting blackout drunk and snorting a few lines when the sun comes up.”
“Oh look, he can be taught.”
He laughed, and his smile was wide. “I can’t do that, you know? I’m an addict, and I’ll always be an addict. But I think from now on, my highs have to come from other places.”
I tried not to grimace.
“What? What’s with the face?”
“Now I’m worried that you’re gonna turn into an adrenaline junkie or something.”
He scoffed. “No, but don’t you think I’ll need someone to watch over me?”
I nodded. “That’s why I need to hire you a real assistant. Someone who knows you’re their priority, unlike Brent.”
“I don’t want an assistant to travel with me,” he murmured. “I want something else.”
I shook my head. “You don’t want whoever you’re in a relationship with traveling with you. Then you can’t be yourself when you’re out on the road.”
“You’re wrong,” he said flatly. “It’s actually the other way around. I’ll be more myself, and I’ll want to show off, being the best person I can be every single day.”
“That’s not how that works,” I explained to him. “Everyone needs time away.”
He suddenly crossed his arms. “And you know this because of all your vast experience being in relationships.”
“Shuddup,” I ordered him. “You’re too young to be fighting with me about this.”
“That didn’t sound patronizing at all,” he assured me, getting up and leaving me alone at the table. “And baby, you’re so wrong.”
It took a second.
“The hell did you just say?” I snapped at him, turning around in my seat.
He blew his nose in the napkin he’d taken with him. “What’d—what did I say?”
“You just called me baby.”
Instant face like he’d bit into a lemon. “I did not. That’s wishful thinking right there.”
“Excuse me?” I said, getting up. “Wishful—have you lost your fuckin’ mind?”
He scoffed, not scared of me even a little, before he turned and went to the kitchen where my mother was putting the finishing touches on the avocado toast. He asked her for some milk, and she smiled as she poured him a glass.
I stood there, glaring at him as he completely ignored me, instead watching in horror as my mother shook red pepper flakes over the top of the mashed avocado.
“What?” she asked him, stopping mid-shake.
“Your avocado toast is hot too?”
“Is it hot?” she asked, squinting at him.
He looked back at me then, and so did she.
“What’s the matter with you?” she asked me. “You look like you swallowed a bug.”
I threw up my hands and flopped back down in my chair. “Am I getting avocado toast, or do I have to make my own?”
“Oooh, somebody’s grouchy today,” she remarked under her breath. “And since I’ve been feeding you, it can’t be your blood sugar…” Her head snapped up.
“No,” I ordered her. “Think before you speak.”
“Sweetheart, how long has it been since you’ve gotten any?”
Nick nearly drowned in his milk.
Eight
Around seven, after we took a nap, when it started to cool a bit, which wasn’t saying much—it was still in the mid-eighties—my mother piled us into her four-seater golf cart and drove us the back way, up and down horse paths, over shallow parts of the creek to an open area of mowed grass and a large stand of Arizona cypress, scattered pinyon pines, and alligator junipers. It was a lovely space on my mother’s friend Jamie’s property. I had never met him, as he’d always been traveling when I visited during the holidays.
“It’s really something that there’s this lush vegetation here among the red rock,” Nick said as we got out to walk toward the long table with seating for twelve.
“Oddly serene, isn’t it?” my mother asked him.
“It is,” he agreed. “But even as lovely as this is, I think I prefer your back patio and the view of Cathedral Rock.”
“I know,” she said, chuckling, taking hold of his arm. “And my house butts right up to the national forest, so I don’t have to worry about anyone else building across the creek from me.” She gestured at the meadow. “Jamie doesn’t have that luxury. Someone could build right there, though the land isn’t cheap, and the build wouldn’t be either.”
“Well then, hopefully