answer. A ranked list was still just a list, highlighting the same experts and authorities that any other search would turn up, which wasn’t what he had set out to do. Plus, if the top few people on the list refused to engage – which they would, surely, after the first few hundred people had tried to contact them – the list would be worse than useless.
Charles Gok was so caught up in his world of theoretical physics that he had never actually gone onto the Fishbowll site. Ben and Kevin would probably have forgotten about it if Andrei hadn’t continued to badger them. They were more caught up in the experiment with Dan Cooley, who was still resolutely wearing the Nike swoosh. Ben was starting to become uneasy about the experiment and was beginning to think it was time to concede defeat, but every time Kevin caught a glimpse of Cooley wearing Nikes, in the quad, or in Ricker dining hall, where most of the students from Robinson House ate, he felt it as a personal slap in the face. The whole of Robinson House was watching. Kevin was determined to see the three stripes on Cooley’s feet and was using all his considerable hacking skills in a final push for victory. Dan Cooley was now the lucky recipient of a series of bonus offers available only to first-time purchasers of Adidas sneakers, delivered direct to his inbox.
Opinion in Robinson House was divided over the legitimacy of this tactic and a number of bets were declared void.
Andrei, meanwhile, felt as if Fishbowll was going to drive him crazy. The same ideas for the website kept going around in his head, and none of them seemed right. He was getting to the point where he felt that he would somehow have to force himself to stop thinking about it if he was going to stay sane.
‘Maybe give us a selection,’ said Ben in exasperation, when Andrei had cornered him and Kevin in the common room again. ‘Not the whole list, just a few names.’
‘Then it won’t be comprehensive!’ objected Andrei.
‘Andrei, we can’t cope with comprehensive! How many times do I have to tell you? We’re timid little creatures of limited brainpower. It’s too much!’
‘How big a selection?’ asked Andrei.
‘I don’t know. Ten. Twenty. Something we can get our heads around.’
‘How do I choose them? And don’t say ranking. Don’t say ranking. Ranking’s not the answer.’
‘Then do it randomly!’ said Kevin, who was just as sick of Fishbowll as Ben, and even more exasperated by Dan Cooley’s recalcitrance to every blandishment he could think of. ‘Dude, give us ten, randomly selected. OK? That’s it! I’m getting dinner. Who wants to come?’
‘I’m coming,’ said Ben. ‘Is Charles around?’
‘Who knows?’
‘Charles …?’
They waited for a moment.
‘OK,’ said Kevin. ‘Let’s go.’
Kevin and Ben headed out. Andrei followed them, shambling down the corridor and down the stairs disconsolately.
They went down to the quad and headed for Ricker.
‘Do you really think that’s what I should do?’ said Andrei as they walked. ‘Cut down the long list and just give a selection of names?’
Kevin sighed. ‘Dude! Please! Enough!’
‘I’m saying that instead of these gimungous lists,’ said Ben, ‘you should give us a randomly selected list that we can handle. Ten names. Whatever.’
‘Put a gender filter in,’ said Kevin. ‘At least make it so we can choose the girls.’
‘It’s not a dating site!’ retorted Andrei.
‘Dude, every place you can connect with on the internet is a dating site.’
‘That’s too depressing.’
Ben shrugged. ‘Ben’s right, Andrei. Look at Dan Cooley.’
‘What’s he got to do with it? Has he developed a dating site?’
Kevin laughed. ‘Only way he’d get a lay.’
‘Dan responds to Kev—I mean Jeff, because he thinks Jeff’s interested in him.’
‘You think he’s gay?’ said Kevin, his face suddenly lighting up. ‘Maybe I can offer him some kind of discount on Adidas sneakers for, like, gay buyers.’
Ben looked at Kevin incredulously for a moment. ‘I’m not saying he’s gay. What I’m saying is, Dan responds to Jeff because he thinks Jeff’s interested in him. It makes him feel special. Once you feel special, you respond.’
Andrei had no idea what that had to do with Fishbowll. ‘When you get a name on Fishbowll, it’s obvious why you’re interested in that person – because you share the same interest.’
‘But why that person and nobody else in the five million names on your list?’ said Ben.
Andrei shrugged.
‘Exactly. You don’t know. Look, Andrei, it’s got to be a journey, and the journey has to start