at you, and I’m breathless, dizzy from it. I want to kneel at your feet and worship you. While the baser part of me wants to fling up your skirts and stick my cock in you until we forget our names.” His nostrils flared as he glared at her, accusation and pain mingling within his eyes.
“But none of that matters,” he said, trembling before her, “because every day that I am with you, I am more convinced that God made you just for me. For in ninety years on this earth, no one has made me feel the way you do, as if every day is an adventure. You make me laugh. And I never laugh. I go around smiling like a witless fool. So yes, I kept it from you, because I am so desperately in love with you that the knowledge that you might love me too was irresistible. And I was afraid it would turn to dust should I take off that mask.”
A sound tore from his throat, and he turned away to lean against the wardrobe, resting his forearms over his head. The silver lines of his body glimmered in the afternoon sun that slanted through the lacy curtains. His voice drifted out, rough and choked. “How am I to resist the one thing I’ve ever truly wanted?”
His forehead hit the wood with a thud. “I am sorry, Miri,” he finished weakly.
Miranda’s vision blurred. There were lies, and there were lies. She went to him, sliding between his strong body and the wardrobe. Despite his distress, his arm automatically reached out to cocoon her against him as he breathed raggedly. “I’m sorry, Miri,” he whispered against her hair. “I’m sorry…”
She smoothed his back. “Hush.” Her lips brushed across his collarbone. She looked up at him through her tears and found his eyes red, his thick lashes clumping like spikes. “Do you think it is any different for me? I want you so much it is a constant ache.”
He made a sound, and his lips found her temple. Soft kisses to ease her tears, yet her heart grew cold. She was losing him. He was retreating. Behind thick walls where feelings could not hurt him. She felt it as surely as the lips upon her brow. Miranda had lived in that cold dark place for most of her life.
She turned toward him, her cheek caressing his chin. “I need to hear your voice every day or I despair. You are the balance of my soul. I cannot lose you, Ben. I would not live through it.”
The very idea caused her to sob, and he caught her mouth with his. “Don’t cry,” he whispered against her lips, his big hand cupping her cheek. “I can’t bear it.” He kissed her tears as she kissed his cheeks, eyes, and beloved jaw line.
She closed her eyes and let her forehead rest against his as they breathed together. Sick dread slid down her belly. She could sense the wild desperation filling him. She would lose him to this madness.
“We can solve this together.” She kissed him softly, desperately. The taste of him broke her heart anew. “We will find a cure. And this killer… It takes only a thought for me to finish him. Do you understand?”
Suddenly he went utterly cold. “Yes.” He closed his eyes and released a deep sigh. The fight in him seemed to drain. “I understand you perfectly.”
When she moved to kiss him, he cupped her face in his hands, and his gray eyes searched her face as if to commit it to memory. “Know this, there is only one truth left to me.” His trembling fingertips caressed her jaw. “That I love you.” He said it again, his voice broken, his arms pulling her tightly against him. “I love you. The rest is darkness.”
Her fingers curled around the smooth swells of his biceps. “Then let me be your light.”
Archer shuddered, dragging an open-mouthed kiss across her cheek to claim her lips. “Always, Miri.” He grew tighter, colder in her arms. “All that I am, all that I become, is for you.”
Chapter Thirty-one
No!” Miranda lurched out of bed, her heart pounding painfully. Shaking, she buried her face in her hands until little prickles of awareness set in. She whipped round, knowing she was alone, but needing to see. The bedding at her side was rumpled and empty. Archer. On his pillow lay the silver rose and a note. Pain spread through her middle, doubling her over, and