Into The Fire - E. L. Todd Page 0,77

Just learn from your mistakes.”

“I’ll try.” I pulled away and forced a smile. I was still too depressed to really enjoy the moment.

“Ash, I know it’s none of my business but I’m a little confused about Alessandra.”

I hated hearing her name. “She’s an escort. That’s the end of the story.”

“No…it just seemed like you really loved her. I could see it every time you looked at her.”

Was everything written all over my face? “I don’t love her.”

“Then you certainly care about her.”

I couldn’t deny that.

“Why can’t you be with her? Your father and I love her. And I know she made you happy.”

“It’s a long story.” I never talked about my personal life with my mom. It was a little weird. “Basically, she doesn’t want to be with me.”

“She said that?”

“Pretty much. I’m not her type. I’m too…unpredictable.”

“Well, show her otherwise.”

I didn’t want to get into this. “Alessandra and I will never be together. You’ll never see her again. Just make your peace with it.”

Her eyes fell in sadness. “I see…”

I grabbed my keys. “So, you want to see the shop?”

She cleared her throat and tried to hide the devastation on her face. “I’d love to.”

***

The shop was completely empty. Nothing was inside it. The tile was marked up and old, and the walls were faded and gray. “I know it isn’t much right now but I’m making a lot of changes to it.”

Mom looked around with her arms across her chest. “I’m sure it’ll look great when you’re finished with it. What did you have in mind?”

“The walls will be black with portraits of different ink on the walls. Red chairs will be in the lobby. And the counter will be made of deep purple marble. It’ll be sick.”

“I’m sure.” Mom looked out the window and didn’t seem to really care.

Since she came all the way down there and finally apologized, I let it go. She made enough effort for the day. “I’ll get this place running soon.” It was the only distraction I had.

Mom turned to me. “I’m sorry to bring this up again…”

I didn’t want to talk about her. Every time I did it made me sick.

“You really don’t love this girl?”

“No.” I clenched my jaw as I said it. “I already said that.”

“Well, I don’t believe that.” She turned her unflinching gaze on me. “I remember the way you were with her.”

“Acting,” I said. “It’s her job.”

“Not her acting,” she said. “Yours.”

I stared at her.

“You weren’t acting, Ash. This girl meant something to you. I can tell.”

This knowledge kept hitting me in the face—hard.

“Why don’t you talk to her?”

“Mom, stay out of it.”

“You love her—”

“Knock it off.” I was growing angry, and the darkness inside me was stretching. I had a bad temper and I couldn’t control it well. Perhaps it was because I’d experienced a whole other world when I was overseas. All the drama in America was just bullshit most of the time. People didn’t realize how good they had it. “I’m done talking about this.”

Mom finally gave up. “I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.” Fuck no, I was so damn miserable.

“You were much happier with her.”

Don’t remind me. “Want to get something to eat?” I’d do anything to change the subject.

She seemed to realize the conversation went as far as possible. “Sure.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Alessandra

As the weeks passed, Ash slowly faded from my mind.

But he never disappeared.

I tried not to think about him because it never led to anything good. When his face came into my mind, the longing swallowed me up. I missed the way my sheets smelled when he slept over. Sometimes I glanced at my door and hoped he would barge in just the way he used to. When something interesting happened, I immediately grabbed the phone so I could tell him about it.

But then I remembered he wasn’t in my life anymore.

Everything he said was true. I did want to be with him more than Brad. Hell, I wanted to be with him more than anybody. Apparently, my desires were written all over my face. He knew exactly how I felt, and it was embarrassing that he figured it out so quickly.

It was humiliating, actually.

But I managed to save face and walk away from him. I wouldn’t be with him even if he offered everything I ever wanted. He was a liar, and I couldn’t trust him. He wanted me all to himself even if that meant I was unhappy. He wasn’t willing to step aside