Into The Fire - E. L. Todd Page 0,76

think about me anymore.

Did she like Brad? Had they slept together? If they did, did she think of me?

Did she ever think of me?

I thought the depression would be gone by now but it wasn’t. It was just as strong as ever. Whenever women made passes at me, I told myself just to go for it. Maybe if I fucked enough women, I’d forget about Alessandra.

But I couldn’t do it.

It was like my body couldn’t respond to anyone but her.

What the hell was wrong with me?

How did this happen?

I didn’t even know who I was anymore.

This sucked.

***

Mom called me but I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to talk to her or my father. But when I didn’t call her back, she called again. She left a few messages and even resorted to texting me. She wasn’t good with her phone, so her message was barely readable.

I knew if I didn’t respond to her, she would blow up my phone forever.

Mom, I’m really busy right now. I’ll call when I can.

That should get her off my back for a while.

After work one day, I headed to my apartment and stilled when I spotted my mother waiting outside the door.

Goddammit.

Mom spotted me, and her eyes immediately widened. “There you are. I’ve been waiting all day.”

“I had to work.”

She crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at me. She was over a foot shorter than me but she could still be intimidating. I’d killed men with my bare hands and watched the life leave their eyes, but her look of disapproval still unnerved me.

“What’s up?” I got the door unlocked and walked inside.

“What’s up?” she asked, clearly irritated. “I have something to ask you.”

“What?” I asked in a bored voice. I didn’t care about anything anymore. She could yell and scream about whatever she wanted to bitch about and I wouldn’t flinch.

“I went to that flower shop to surprise Alessandra and the woman said no one by that name worked there.” Accusation was in her eyes.

I guess my lies were bound to catch up with me.

“If she doesn’t work there, where does she work?”

I had my money so I didn’t care at that point. “She’s an escort.”

Her jaw dropped. “She’s a prostitute?”

“No. She’s an actress. She pretends to be a man’s girlfriend for money.”

“I don’t understand…”

Mom was a little slow. “I paid her to pretend to be my girlfriend. That way, you would give me back my money and I could move on with my life.”

“You what?” She put her hands on her hips. “You tricked me?”

“Yep.” I didn’t feel any remorse. “It was pathetic I had to resort to that to get my money back. You should have just been honorable and paid me back instead of holding it over my head. I’ve suffered enough in the war and you chose to make my rehabilitation even worse.” Things I never said before were flying out of my mouth. Normally, I acted like everything was just fine and didn’t give in to the dark thoughts. But now I was a loose cannon. “I’m sorry you aren’t proud of who I am. I’m sorry you’re ashamed of me and the things I care about. If you disapprove of me so much, then cut me out. I’m tired of you treating me like I’m some kind of mistake. Accept me for who I am or just leave me alone.”

Instead of blowing up and screaming at me, her eyes fell in sadness. “Ash, you aren’t a mistake. I love you.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“I do,” she said. “I’m sorry I don’t show it very well…”

I couldn’t believe she was apologizing to me.

“I didn’t realize how much I hurt you.”

“Well, you did. I like inking and I’m going to open my shop. I already found a place and have ordered the equipment. It’s happening. And no, I’m not going back to school.”

Mom nodded slowly. “Then I accept that, Ash. Do what you want.”

Seriously? No yelling? No screaming? “Are you drunk?”

She actually smiled. “No, Ash. If you resorted to such tactics just to get your money back, then I know you’re fed up with me.”

“I guess…”

“I’m sorry, honey. I really am.” Sincerity was in her eyes.

I never expected this to happen. “It’s okay.”

She moved into my chest and hugged me.

I returned the embrace and felt warm. Approval was something I never got from my parents. It was nice to get it now. “So, you’re going to pardon my jail time?”

She sighed. “It’s in the past, Ash.