be my girlfriend, and I know you’re no virgin.”
“Is that why we went to this theater?”
“Of course. I don’t want anyone to see me with you. I asked you out, and now we’re going to have sex.” This time he unzipped his jeans after he unbuttoned the waistband. “I wonder if you’re as good as your mama. I’ve heard rumors about her.”
“No!” That was the last coherent word she spoke. He roughly grabbed her thighs and pushed her down on the seat as she screamed and flailed. “Keep fighting me, darlin’, I like it rough.” Without any warning he got on top of her and pushed inside her. She screamed in pain. Within the small confines of the car, she didn’t have anyplace to go, and his body on her tiny frame held her captive. Tears dripped down her face, and when he was done, he got out of the car, righted his pants, tucked in his shirt, and got back in, as if he hadn’t just raped her. Her body trembled and nausea consumed her, but she was a fighter. She wouldn’t be weak. She opened the door and jumped out, tumbling to the ground and scraping her knees. She wiped her face with the back of her hands and smoothed her rumpled dress. Andy followed alongside her with his car, yelling through the window, “You better keep that mouth of yours shut, Jamie Lynn. Who do you think they’ll believe, white-trash JL Calhoun with a manipulative junkie mother, or me, the captain of the football team, the valedictorian of the class, the son of the owner of McGuire Oil? You hear me, girl?” She did. She heard every word as she walked, her arms wrapped around herself. He took off, his back tires sending pebbles flying into the air.
She ran back home, all three miles. At some point she stopped on the side of the road and threw up, holding onto a tree for support. When she finally made it back home, her mother was outside with another beer and another cigarette. “You look like shit.”
And that caused the dam to break inside JL. She needed love. She needed comfort. Instead her mother looked at her and then at her dress, which was stained with blood. JL lifted the hem a little and saw that she had a huge gash on her thigh. It could’ve been from when she’d fallen while running or from fighting Andy off. Her mother’s only words were, “Told you, long pretty hair won’t change a thing. That right there, what happened to you it’s ’cause you’re a tease. Remember who you are and where you come from.” She tipped her head toward the trailer. “Get used to it, Jamie Lynn. Without expectations you won’t get hurt.”
—
“And that was it,” Jamie Lynn finished. “My life was forever changed. I think that’s why I try to keep expectations low. Don’t date much, don’t get too attached. That night I chopped off my hair with a pair of kitchen shears. I never told anyone else. I don’t even know if my mother remembers that night. I don’t know what was worse, her reaction or what Andy did to me. Anyway, for weeks I would look at the gash on my leg. It morphed into a scar, a constant reminder of what had happened. I was so angry at everyone, especially myself for being so stupid. One day, a few weeks after, I walked into Jimbo’s Tattoo with my fake ID and got my first tattoo. I got it to cover my scar. The woman who tattooed me was kind and didn’t ask questions. We hit it off, and soon afterward I started working there as the receptionist. I loved it at Jimbo’s. They’d let me sketch a lot of the customers’ requests, and I learned a lot those two years. Not just about drawing but about myself. I was my own person and refused to let my mother or Andy define me. If I wanted to have short purple hair and tattoo every inch of my body, I would. I didn’t need anyone’s permission. I didn’t care what others thought. I just wanted to be me, and I was…I am.”
Chapter 11
“I don’t know what to say,” Enzo said sincerely.
“Nothing to say.”
“I want to kill Andy McGuire. If I ever see him…”
“Ironically enough, I heard he was in a motorcycle accident about a month ago and died.”
“Good. Got off easy.” Enzo’s jaw twitched. He was so angry