his chest when he saw her eyes fill with tears, but she didn’t allow them to fall.
“You’ve got to be kidding me?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”
That familiar little crease appeared in her brow. “Damn, you, Ryan! Why? Why do this to me? We both know what you did. I can’t even …” She shook her head. “How can you say that you’re mine after that? How could you think that I would ever want to be yours?”
He caught hold of her wrist. It was a risky move, and he knew it, but he had to try. He tugged on it gently, needing her to take just one step toward him. She froze and looked up into his eyes. Hers were wide with something that looked a lot like fear, but she didn’t pull away.
“What are you afraid of, Lee?”
She shook her head but didn’t speak.
“I didn’t do it, you know.”
She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Please don’t. Don’t say that; don’t go there. We proved yesterday that there’s no point going there.”
“Okay. I’ll drop it, for now. But I’m going to prove it to you.”
She shook her head sadly. “Honestly, Ryan. I wish you could. But we both know you can’t.”
His heart leaped in his chest. “Why do you wish I could?”
She met his gaze but didn’t speak.
“If I could prove it to you …”
“You can’t!”
“If I could …” He was still holding her wrist. She hadn’t pulled away yet. He tugged gently and she took a step toward him. His heart clenched in his chest. It probably meant nothing in her mind, but in his, it was the sign that he’d needed. He looked deep into her eyes. “You asked how I could think that you’d ever want to be mine again. I’ll tell you. You still want to be mine because in my arms is the only place you’ve ever belonged. By my side is the only place you’ve ever felt safe. You want to hate me. You say you hate me, but you don’t. You miss me. You’ve missed me all these years, just like I’ve missed you.”
Her face softened as he spoke. For a moment, he thought that she was going to admit it. But she pulled herself up, stood up straight, chin up, shoulders back … he couldn’t let his attention drop to her breasts, not now. “I’m not a liar. You could be right. But you’re also the only person on earth who knows, who truly understands why I can’t let any of that matter.”
He nodded sadly. That was the worst of it. He was the only one she’d given her trust to. And, as far as she was concerned, he’d broken it. “It does matter, though, doesn’t it? All of it.”
She shook her head. “It can’t.”
“You said you’re not a liar. Tell me you don’t want me.” Her eyes widened, but he didn’t mean sexually, at least, not just that. “Tell me you don’t want me, in your life, in your bed … in your heart.”
Her eyes shimmered with tears as she looked up at him. She opened her mouth to speak. But no words came.
He tugged her wrist, and she came closer. He put his hands on her hips and drew her to him. His senses filled up with the feel, the scent, the memory of her. He sank his fingers into her long, silky hair, cupping the back of her neck. Her arms came up around his shoulders and he was lost. He claimed her mouth savagely, and she kissed him back more like an adversary than a lover. His hands moved over her; her body so familiar as he crushed her to his chest. He was lost in her and wondering how he’d survived this long without her when she suddenly put her hands in the middle of his chest and pushed him away.
She stood there, breathing hard. Her chest rising and falling. “No! Nothing’s changed!”
“Exactly. Nothing ever could change between us, Lee. We’re meant to be.”
“No!” Damn, she was beautiful when she was angry. “I mean, what you did. Nothing’s changed.”
He had to bite back his anger. He’d been swept up in her. He’d forgotten that she still didn’t believe him. “I told you. I’ll prove it to you.”
She stared at him for a long moment. “I don’t believe you can. And I think it’s best if we stay out of each other’s way unless you do.” She turned on