that in California too. Any chance you could help me get a list of the last few rookie classes here, focusing on people who didn’t make it through?”
“Yeah. I was one of the trainers this year. I’ll see what red tape we can cut through to get that information to you.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” Lincoln turned like he was going to go back into the offices, but Luis held up a hand.
“Tomorrow is probably soon enough. I don’t want to keep you today, especially if you were already heading out.”
“Nah. It’s okay.” Dropping his bag by his feet, Lincoln exhaled hard. “Jacob’s on loan to a fire up near Hood River. House is way too quiet, even with the dogs.”
“You miss him.” Luis had to smile at this big, badass guy who would be as at home on a battlefield as a motorcycle gang, yet who also had such a soft spot for his man and wasn’t afraid to admit he had feelings.
Lincoln sighed and rubbed at his closely cropped hair. “That’s one way to put it.”
“He’ll be back soon, I’m sure. Has it been hard this year, being on different crews?” New regulations meant that the smoke-jumping management was reluctant to put people in a long-term relationship together on the same small crew.
“Yeah, it has. Not gonna lie.” Rolling his neck, Lincoln stretched and looked away. “We still work together some, but it’s not the same. Weird too because I’m so fucking proud of him advancing. Like I didn’t even know it was possible to be that proud of someone else, you know?”
“I get it. I’ve been there.” And he had. Both with Mike, being worried and proud every time he advanced or got called out, and now with Tucker, being in awe as he managed things at the fire camp. And weird was the right way to put it. Pride in someone else was a great, positive emotion, but it also brought with it a certain vulnerability that could be less than comfortable, especially when risk was involved.
“Yeah? You got someone back home?” Lincoln studied him carefully. “Was kind of under the impression that you and Tucker...”
“It’s complicated.” Luis wasn’t going to lie and say it was nothing, but he also wasn’t about to air any private business right here in the lobby. “And no one at home. Not for a long time now.”
Knowing how the rumor mill worked in the fire community, he added that last bit so that no one would think Tucker was his piece on the side. But saying the words made certain thoughts reappear. No one at home. He’d been perfectly fine with that reality right up until now, when he suddenly wasn’t. It was like forgetting to eat all day, then realizing he’d been starving for hours.
“Ah. Complicated sucks.” Lincoln arched his eyebrows like a guy who’d been there a time or two.
“Word.” Luis still wasn’t giving him details, but they exchanged a sort of knowing look, an acknowledgment of past battles they’d each fought, a certain mutual respect passing between them even without words.
“Been there. Fucking sucked. But I also wouldn’t change a damn thing. Sometimes complicated works out. I hope it does for you, man.” This time when Lincoln clapped him on the shoulder, it was softer, less Hulk and more understanding.
“Thanks.” They had another wordless conversation with their eyes, more of that understanding that made Luis’s throat strangely tight.
Lincoln gave him a last commiserating look before picking up his bag. “I’ll get on those names for the investigation. You have a good rest of your evening.”
“Will do,” Luis replied before heading to the parking lot even though he had no intention of having a good anything. The empty evening was merely something to be endured, a series of hours to try to avoid the urge to call Tucker. Not that he needed to call. The air base was on the outskirts of Painter’s Ridge. It was getting late. Tucker was probably already on his way home. He could simply swing by, wait for him to show up after work, and...
That was where his imagination failed him. He wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t make things that much worse. And yet his car pointed itself toward town, not the rural highway back to his Bend hotel. He didn’t head right to Tucker either though. Instead he wandered, past the house where his family had lived. It was older now, needing new paint, and had several vehicles out front,