hand. “Evan...”
He shook his head. “No. I will not live with a woman who cannot trust me. I know what I want from a marriage, Kelly, and Quince said it all too well. Love. Trust. Dedication. I took those damned vows offering you all three, plus one more. Protection. I hoped you’d see through to me and believe me enough to open up. You did. Once. But we got too close and you shut right down with one excuse after another. You’ll have my friendship and my protection, Kelly Sullivan, but as for marriage? Looks like I made a mistake. I am truly sorry for us both.”
* * *
KELLY LAY IN bed staring at the ceiling, where the ambient city lights diffused through the curtains. Inhale as she may, she could not get a full breath into her lungs. Her throat was way too tight, her heart pounding against her ribs.
She lifted her hand to look at the gold band on her finger in the little light there was. The delicate circlet seemed so foreign yet fit perfectly. She turned her hand. Seamless. Perfect. She’d worn this on her hand comfortably for these past days as if it had always been a part of her. Only when she’d reach for something and notice it on her hand did she realize it was there. In those moments her mind would fly back to the fact that she was truly married—and then the guilt would hit. Had she done herself and Evan a disservice simply to meet her own desperate needs? This ring symbolized what was precious between two people. Evan let her know tonight that his intentions had been genuine. Hers had not.
What had she done? It only took four days for him to call it quits. And here she was questioning whether it was because she’d called him on his deception or because she had profoundly wounded the man.
Her gut told her it was the latter. If that was the case, she was a damned fool.
Okay, so she was unschooled in love. God knew the emotional hurdles she overcame to see Matt as a sweet, innocent newborn and not the seed of a monster. She’d done all that good work. Matt’s joyful attitude was proof. The price she’d paid was keeping everyone at arm’s length, including her friends. A form of self-preservation in order to do what she must had backfired on her in the intimacy department.
Now she knew the difference. Evan had shown her. She needed the love of a good man and he awakened that need like a thunderclap before a deluge. While her heart and soul wanted to stand in that storm with feet firmly planted and arms wide, feeling every drop of wind and rain buffeting her body, her mind had yanked her back into her safe, dry cave. Logic admonished that something as powerful as love from the hands of a man could hurt her and she continued to believe it.
But Evan had shown her otherwise. When he did, she’d responded, albeit with caution. Evan taught her the difference, yet she still hunkered back into her own sanctuary at the slightest provocation. While she and Evan had given Matt a lecture on standing together and not letting other folks tear them down with their ideas, she hadn’t applied that philosophy to herself with Evan.
Because she was afraid. Afraid of commitment. Afraid to hand herself over to a man in case he considered her chattel. Fear—that four-letter word had just shattered her chance at happiness with the one man she loved.
Loved?
Did she just use that word?
She sat up, looking around as if someone else had spoken. But no. She was alone. Her heart whispered the truth to her. She’d finally listened and let the meaning sink in. And crazy as her world was, she realized the truth when it was too late.
No. She would fix this. She hadn’t battled the odds of cruelty and survived just to let fear keep her from love.
How could she prove her love to Evan now that he’d turned away from her? She knew him well enough. When that stubborn Irishman made a decision, moving a continent was easier than changing his mind. She’d have to completely overwhelm him to get his attention.
The answer came like a sucker punch.
She’d have to come forward about Buzz Campbell. Tell the truth on the air and in so doing trust him. She would also be giving him another gift. She’d be putting her husband