he committed to.
He’d sure dragged his feet, though, on the drive from New Mexico. When he’d landed in Helena, he’d checked into a low-rent motel attached to a bar so he had the two things he’d been closest to since his discharge, whiskey and a bed. But after a week of being a grumpy customer at the bar and feeling sorry for himself, he’d decided he needed to get his shit together.
Was it the night he spent with Zoe? The realization that while he might think he was numb to feeling anything that it wasn’t necessarily so? He’d never connected like that with a woman before, and it frightened him. She gave everything and asked nothing. Not anything.
He’d been a coward when she got up to leave this morning. No, an asshole was more like it, because he didn’t know what to say. But it made him take a long look at himself. Maybe if he cleaned up his act, he could try to find her.
Then there were the last words his commanding officer had spoken to him, words he’d been trying to wipe from his brain.
“Make me proud, Sean. You always have.”
Well, proud wasn’t what the man would have been feeling up to now, so he yanked himself out of bed after Zoe left, showered, dressed, and called Hank to let him know he was close to Eagle Rock. And here he was, doing the last thing he’d expected.
Assigned to protect the woman who not only fulfilled his erotic fantasies but actually made him feel human again. Well, hell!
What was it about her that made him feel so different? He’d had literally dozens of women, all of whom he’d given a good time to, but none ever touched him the way she did. On the one hand, he wanted to run from it. He still hadn’t figured out how to live with his damaged body. On the other, he had finally figured out that being a hermit type wasn’t such a good deal. The best he might do was to drink himself into an early grave.
Last night, in the most unexpected ways, had made him take a look at himself that he didn’t much like. It also made him realize that his life might not yet be over if he got his shit together.
And now, here he was, stunned that circumstance had thrown him back together with the woman who had rattled his chains and made him take a hard look at himself. He knew by the look on her face she’d been just as stunned as he was in her apartment. But thank god she’d acted as if they’d never met. Maybe she hadn’t felt the same things last night that he had. How would she react when he walked into Hank’s place?
Quit thinking about it. It is what it is. Pay attention to what Hank is offering and decide if you’re through feeling sorry for yourself and making a fucking shit pile out of your life.
His SEAL teammates would take his head off if they could see him now. They knew he hated the medical discharge, but they had faith he’d find a way to redirect his life. What was their motto? Oh, yeah. The only easy day was yesterday.
And then, of course, part of the creed
“I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.”
He sure hadn’t been serving with honor, nor was his character steadfast. If he was to get off the spot he’d glued himself to he had to pull up his big boy panties. He’d spent nearly every minute since his discharge feeling sorry for himself and blaming the world for his problems.
Realizing with a start he’d reached his exit, he turned off the highway onto the road leading through Eagle Rock. The area was beautiful, with giant pine, spruce, and fir trees, and land that stretched away to the towering Crazy Mountains.
“Turn left in one quarter of a mile.” His GPS spit directions out to him.
He slowed at the entrance to White Oak Ranch and stopped at the gates closed across the driveway. A camera was perched on one gatepost, and there was a call box on the right with a button he pressed.
“Hey, Sean.” Hank’s voice boomed out of the box. “Come on up.”
The gates slid open, and