wall full of pictures of all of us, and quite a few of me with Zack. No, I couldn’t call them. Those girls who would have told me, once again, that Zack was a great guy and I should figure out how to make it work. Their grinning faces mocked me, so I turned my back on the wall.
I also couldn’t call Audrey or Trish. They’d drop everything and come over and be all comforting and hover like helicopters, and that wasn’t what I needed either. I was surrounded by a whole bunch of people and I’d never felt more alone.
I’d known before I picked up my phone who I was going to call. I also knew that he’d pick up.
“Hi,” I said when he answered after the second ring.
“Hey. Is something wrong? I can ask you that when you call me in the middle of the night, right?” He only sounded half-awake, his voice husky.
“No, nothing’s wrong, per se. I’m just here. Alone.” I laughed a little. It seemed like a stupid reason to call when I said it out loud. “I’m sorry for calling you.”
“Don’t hang up,” he said, as if he sensed that I was going to. “I wasn’t asleep, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Liar, liar, pants on fire. No, I did not need to think about Stryker’s pants, or what was in them.
“Oh, good.” We both breathed in unison for a moment.
“What were you doing?” Maybe I didn’t want to know the answer. I almost heard him formulating a snarky response, but he chose the truth instead.
“Drawing.”
“Drawing?” I could see that, I guess. With the tattoos and everything.
“Yeah. I’ll show sometime. If you decide you want whatever this is to extend beyond merely a physical distraction.”
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. “Right now I don’t need a physical distraction. Just a verbal one.”
I heard the smile in his voice. “I think I can do that.”
So he started talking. About how he still didn’t know what he wanted to do when he graduated, even though he’d already gotten internship offers from more than a few companies. About his favorite bands and how he felt the first time he heard The Beatles and how he’d taught himself to play most of his instruments and read music. I listened as he talked and the passion in his voice was so strong that it made me sad, and jealous that I didn’t feel like that about anything.
I remembered feeling that way about things in the past, but it had been years. I missed it.
“What’s your favorite song?” I said to try to distract myself from my depressing lack of passion.
“I don’t have a favorite song. I have a current favorite song. It changes a lot. I have different favorite songs for different situations.”
“What’s your favorite song right now?”
He answered without hesitation.
“‘Demons’ by Imagine Dragons.”
“I’ve never heard it,” I said. I thought I’d heard Lottie mention the band once or twice, but it didn’t sound like anything I would listen to.
“I’ll play it for you.” I heard him set the phone down and put it on speaker. “Can you hear me?”
“Yeah.” Of course he had a guitar. I would have been surprised if he didn’t.
“I’ll be right back. Hold on.” I waited and heard him crashing around getting something. “Sorry about that. Needed to find the right instrument. Haven’t quite learned this one on the violin yet, so you get the boring guitar version.”
“I’m fine with that.” He played the violin? Now that was a shocker.
He laughed before he started strumming, and then he began to sing. His voice had a rough quality that pulled at something inside me. I found myself breathing quieter, clutching the phone to my ear and turning the volume all the way up so I could hear him better.
Since I’d never heard the original, I didn’t know how his version compared, but it sounded damn good to me. I heard him put aside the guitar and pick up the phone again.
“So that’s my favorite song. Sorry about those little screw ups on the second chorus. I’m still working on the arrangement.”
“What screw ups?” I honestly hadn’t heard any. He’d been flawless.
He laughed.
“Never mind. So how am I doing on verbal distracting?”
I didn’t want to blow up his ego too much. “I’m impressed with your skills.”
“If you ever want to experience more of my skills in the physical distracting department, I’d be more than happy to share them with you.”
I rolled