know. I still have some time to decide,” he says, changing his tone from somber to hopeful in his last sentence. “If I get an athletic scholarship, I planned on saving all the money my parents put aside for college.”
“Your parents saved money for you to go to school?”
“Yeah.”
I gaze at my plate again. “Just another reminder at how much my parents sucked at being parents.”
“Hey, you’ve got Andrew and Rose now.”
“And they weren’t planning on sending two kids to college, J.”
“You’re worrying again already, Parker. They wouldn’t have asked to adopt you if they weren’t ready for that. It’s not like being a high school senior in a few weeks is any surprise. You know them. They’ve thought all this through.” He kisses the back of my hand. “Let’s can all the future talk for now. For the rest of the night nothing can be discussed but right now and the immediate future.”
“Deal.”
“What do you want to do tomorrow?”
“Anything, as long as it’s outside.”
“Park?”
“Picnic?”
He nods. “And a walk. Or we could get up really early and go fishing.”
“I didn’t know you fish.”
“Dad and I used to go a lot on the weekends.”
“Let’s go fishing, then. You can teach me how.” I enjoy new experiences with Jason. My world opens up and I feel less like the abused, isolated girl I once was.
I feel normal.
Arissa is sitting in the living room flipping through a magazine when Jason drops me off. She tosses it aside as soon as I lock the door. We stare at each other in silence.
I have no idea what to say to her. I can’t keep explaining the same thing to her over and over. I might as well talk to a brick wall if I do. I turn to go upstairs.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
I glance over. “I don’t think I heard you right.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, louder. “Okay? I was a bitch to you.”
I face her, leaning on the banister. “Yeah, a big one.”
“I know you’re not lying and I shouldn’t have used your past against you. Or accused you of cheating on Jason.”
“That’s awfully big of you, Riss.”
“Come on. I’m trying to apologize here.”
“You hurt me.” My voice quivers with the rising tears. I choke them down. I can’t cry right now. “You’re my best friend and up until yesterday, I thought you would always be on my side.”
She stands, taking slow steps towards me. “I am on your side. I always will be. I just…I don’t know.” She stops in front of me, but casts her gaze at the door. “I guess I’m still used to it being the four of us, even if he’s been coming around since we went to his place for the party. I saw you two looking like…” she weaves her fingers together and fiddles with her thumbs, “…like a couple and I had to say something.”
“Then talk to me. Don’t confront me about things that you made up in your head. What if you went to Jason with it first and he believed you?”
“That’s why I came to you.”
I blow out a breath in frustration. “I just don’t get it. Why, after two months, is it such a big deal?”
“Because everyone was here yesterday and they all saw.”
“Right, I’m going to cheat on Jason in front of everyone. That’s real smart of me, isn’t it?”
She sighs. “Sara—”
“What?” I ask, cutting her off.
“This isn’t how I thought this would go down.”
“Did you think I would just accept your apology and everything would be a-okay?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Maybe you’ll remember this the next time you want to accuse me of something.”
“I will.”
She wants off the hook and I want to let her off, but I want her to understand that “sorry” doesn’t make it automatically better. “I accept your apology, but I’m still hurt.” I run up the stairs, not giving her a chance to respond.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Jason arrives to pick me up at five in the morning. He looks like he just unwrapped the Christmas present at the top of his wish list.
In contrast, I am bleary-eyed, straight-faced, and holding a cooler of food Rose made for us.
He pecks my cheek and takes the cooler from me. “Between my mom and Rose, we won’t go hungry or thirsty at all.” He slips his other hand into mine and leads me to the car. “You sure you’re up for this?”
I yawn and nod.
He laughs. “You can take a nap on the drive.”
“Good, because I don’t think you could stop me from taking one.”