because I want you to be one hundred percent honest with yourself. Is there really nothing going on between you and Hunter?”
I shake my head. “No. Not a thing. He’s a good friend. That’s all.”
She nods. “I believe you. I wanted to make sure you believed yourself.” She sets her pen down. “Do you want to keep seeing me every week until Manny’s trial before we taper off sessions?”
“No, I think we can start tapering. I just needed to hear what you said today.”
“One month from today, then?”
“Okay.”
Sam flips through the planner in her lap. “Hmmm. School will be back in session by then. Three o’clock?”
“Sounds good.”
She writes the appointment on a card for me, then walks me to the door. Jason stands as I enter the waiting room and holds out his hand. I slip my hand into his and we head to the stairwell.
“A month?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “Tapering off sessions.”
“That’s good news.”
“Mhm.”
“How about a movie and then dinner?”
“I’ll need to borrow your phone to call Rose.”
He fishes the phone out of the pocket of his cargo shorts and hands it to me. I take it with my free hand and scroll through his contacts with my thumb until I reach my number. I give Rose a brief replay of the session, then ask to go out with Jason. She tells me to have fun and we say our goodbyes.
I hand the phone back to Jason. “Good to go.”
“Awesome. I get you to myself for a while.” He grins.
After the movie, we end up at a small, casual Italian restaurant, tearing up bread and dipping it in olive oil.
“Have you thought about what you want to do after high school?” I ask.
“Accounting.”
“Seriously? Accounting?”
“I’m good at math,” he states. “What about you?”
“I don’t know. I was only focused on each day in front of me.”
“What do you like to do?”
I shrug. “I was either doing chores or homework when I was with my parents. After Andrew and Rose took me in there was therapy, you, Arissa, and Damian. Maybe books?”
“What about classes in school?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m good or really love any of them. I do the work and that’s it.”
“Well, good thing you don’t have to figure it out today. Or even in one day,” he says, sitting back.
“That’s what Sam said.”
Our server arrives with our food. I dig into my pomodoro and Jason does the same with his lasagna.
“What are you going to do about college? Were you planning on going to community college to stay home with your dad?” I ask.
“I think it depends on how he’s doing. They both want me to go away and have a life. UCLA has a good business school and decent basketball team.”
I stare into my plate.
“What is it?” he asks.
“I never really thought about you going away.”
“It’s still a year away and I would have to apply and get accepted first.”
I take another bite of pasta.
“You could always come with me, you know.”
I choke and start coughing, trying not to spit food out. I grab my water and take a long pull. Jason moves into the booth with me, running his hand in soothing circles over my back. I manage to swallow my food after the coughing dies down.
“That came out of left field,” I say.
He moves back to his side of the booth. “Was it really? You know how much I love you and I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”
I open my mouth with the intention to explain how it would never work.
He presses his finger to my lips. “It was a suggestion. If you don’t want to do it, I don’t want you to do it. Simple as that. But think about it.”
“We’re still kids, J.”
“Kids who grew up fast. You said so yourself. We both know what we want.”
“You’re not supposed to use what I say against me,” I say, exasperated.
“But it’s true.”
“Yes, but I also have no idea what I want outside of you. That’s my problem. You at least know where you want to go to school and what career you want. I’m clueless.”
“Like I said, it was a suggestion. It would be nice to be able to keep seeing you every day instead of only some weekends and breaks.” He slips his fingers between mine. “You’re always telling me not to worry. Don’t worry about this.”
I pause. “You mentioned the basketball team. Do you think you’ll play college ball?”