beginning. I wanted to hurt everybody around me, my friends for not liking me enough, my father for not giving me more time and attention, Arthur for being so driven by his hormones he was stupid enough to have unprotected sex."
"It's not that bad."
"I even considered suicide - I wrote a note - because I thought it would hurt everybody. But I finally realized I would be hurting the baby most. If I really wanted to make things better, I had to start with myself. And I had to believe in other people. And the only way I could do that was by starting to believe in myself because if I can't believe I'm worth saving, how can I believe in anybody else?"
"That's some mighty deep thinking."
"I know. A sixteen-year-old kid isn't supposed to be able to think, but it's not hard really. It's just common sense. Anyway, I'm going home. Now that you won't see him, Daddy needs me. He's terribly lonely."
"It isn't that I won't see him," Kathryn said. "It's just that - "
"You know he's in love with you, don't you?"
"He told me."
"But you don't believe him?"
"I do, but..."
"But what?"
How had she ended up in this discussion? She didn't have to explain herself to anyone, least of all Ron's daughter. But if she couldn't explain to Cynthia, how could she explain to herself?
"I don't think we have enough in common for a meaningful relationship."
"Do you love him?"
"That's not a proper question to ask me."
"This is my Daddy we're talking about. Do you love him? If you don't, you've got to let him go. He's miserable thinking about you all the time."
"I'm not holding him."
"He says you love him, but you're afraid to let go for fear everything won't be perfect. Nothing is ever perfect. Even I know that."
"You don't understand."
"I understand a lot more than you think. All the girls think you're making a mistake. Even Mrs. Collias. And if she thinks Daddy is too good to throw away, then he's got to be something special. If you'd just talk to him..."
"We disagree on so many things."
"That's how I felt when I came here, but I was wrong. Maybe you'll find you've been wrong, too."
"Cynthia, do you realize you're talking about your father marrying again, about my being your stepmother?"
"I'm too old to feel like anybody's daughter. You'd just be Daddy's wife. Besides, I think you'd be a great wife. You're smart and beautiful, and you both love each other. What better start could you have?"
"You all packed?"
Kathryn nearly jumped out of her skin. She'd been so intent on her conversation with Cynthia she hadn't heard anyone come up the stairs. She turned to find herself facing Ron Egan.
Kathryn had to stop herself from backing into the corner. "I was helping Cynthia finish her packing." Three suitcases sat neatly on the floor, a carryall beside them.
"Is this everything?" Arthur asked.
"Yes."
"I'll take two suitcases."
"I'm glad you and Arthur are getting along," Kathryn said to Ron as Arthur worked his way out of the room with the two large suitcases.
"It appears I haven't lost all my skills. I can still reach some people."
"I'll meet you downstairs," Cynthia said. She grabbed the carryall and bolted through the doorway before Kathryn could stop her.
"Why won't you talk to me?" Ron asked.
"I have nothing to say."
"Then you could listen. I can talk enough for both of us."
"Why bother? We're too different."
"You're still sore about your sister, aren't you?"
Kathryn started to deny it. "I didn't like what you said."
"Would it make any difference if I took it back?"
"You wouldn't mean it."
Ron sighed. "You know me better than I thought." He reached inside his coat and drew out an envelope. "If you're mad now, this is going to make you furious."
"What is it?"
"It's a report." He held it out of her. "I think you'll find some of it very interesting."
"Where did you get it?"
"I have researchers on my staff. I had one of them look into your sister's background."
"You spied on my sister?"
"Most of the things are a matter of public record. When they aren't, that's noted."
"I can't believe you would investigate my sister."
"Consider it a preventive measure. I always like to know what I'm getting into."
"We're not getting into anything together."
"Cynthia tells me I shouldn't give up. I agree with her, so I won't."
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Her resistance was weak and momentary. She would never kiss him again. She'd probably never see him again. Besides, she couldn't